I’M BACK | LET’S TALK BABIES, BOUNDARIES, BODIES & BOOBS

WHY HELLO THERE STRANGERS!
How are you? It's been quite some time since I popped over here to say hello, longer perhaps than I ever expected, I thought I might have found the time to formally introduce you to the latest member of the Ellaby-Craig crew, our little Goldie Rae. But, as I'm sure you know, spare time isn't really something that there's a lot of when you have a newborn and it's only now, as Goldie has turned 3 months that everything has levelled out really beautifully and we're in a fully fledged routine, so I'm here to chat away with you about what's been going on over the last couple of months whilst Goldie has her morning nap.

First of all, WOW, they weren't kidding when they said that time flies when you have a baby. I can't comprehend the fact that she's been in our life now for three whole months (almost four now as I'm reading over and editing this post) What a whirlwind it's been; a whirlwind filled with so much love and happiness, more happiness than I ever thought possible, Goldie is just a complete delight.

I thought I'd share some more info about Goldie and her little personality that is developing every single day. George and I decided that we didn't want to share too much of her online, she isn't able to consent to it after all, plus, she's our special little angel that we want to keep as safe as possible, so thanks for being so understanding about that and I hope you're enjoying seeing the snippets of her that we do choose to share, particularly her fabulous outfits, it's SO much fun styling a small human every day.

So Goldie at three/four months;

1.  Has the biggest and best smile ever. She's always smiling, gurgling and has started giggling (at me playing peekaboo🥺) She smiles real big, especially when she sees me or George or her own reflection in the mirror which is JUST ADORABLE. There is no joy like making your baby smile!

2. She sleeps SO SO well. From the day we brought her home she slept 4-5 hours a night mostly and from 6 weeks was up to 7 solid hours a night. Over the last couple of weeks she's been sleeping right through and going anything between 11-13(!!!!) hours of solid sleep a night, how incredible is that. We started putting her down earlier at night at around 2 months and it's worked a treat for getting into that bedtime routine. She's in bed by 7/730pm every night and usually sleeps through until the morning. She loves her sleep just like her mama teehee but I'm under no illusion that this will last, so I'm going to enjoy every moment of these sleep filled nights while they do.

3. She wants to be sat up at all times. It was a few weeks ago now, and she began getting frustrated by being slightly reclined in her bouncer, fighting to sit up and getting frustrated when the harness straps weren't allowing her to. I wasn't prepared for this to happen so quickly so a speedy Amazon search and a trip to Smyths Toy Shop later and she's now enjoying sitting with us at the kitchen table in her own high chair AND bouncing around in a Jumperoo. Her Jumperoo is her latest favourite toy, she's completely mesmerised by it, it's totally adorable. She's also graduated from the carry cot pram to the sat up and looking at the world situation in her Bugaboo Fox 2 (we're obsessed with this pram btw), it's so nice to see her looking at things and taking in her surroundings as we go about our daily 5k walks together.

4. She is a big fan of Cocomelon and has her favourite songs that she smiles and giggles along to.

5. She has a favourite doll and a favourite elephant teddy bear that she plays with everyday.

6. She loves her play mat (we have the baby einstein) and will happily play on for around 30 minutes.

8. She enjoys bath time and has finally started smiling whilst in the bath rather than being completely startled by the water. However, she's not a fan of getting dressed after the bath and would happily be naked all night long.

9. She's recently started swimming lessons with Water Babies and she just adores it! George and I are taking it in turns each week to go into the pool with her and we both agree it's the most joyful part of our week.

10. She can now hold things, it started small with her dummy or a thin rattle or toy but she's just recently graduated to holding a book with both hands... bonkers stuff but so adorable!

 

 

So that's a little bit about our Goldie girl, now I thought I'd talk a little bit about motherhood and how I've found life as a new mum as I found these kind of posts comforting before Goldie arrived but also whilst I was navigating life with a new born too.

So, for the most part it's been a really dreamy experience which I know I'm really lucky to be able to say. Goldie is extremely chilled, she enjoys her sleep, we didn't have any issues with breastfeeding as she took to it really quickly and all in all she is a really happy and contented baby.
When Goldie was 4 weeks old, things changed a little as she went through, what we now know to be her first leap... That was a hard week. Cluster Feeding and tears-a-plenty from both me and Goldie left our whole house a little shell shocked and it was a truly hard couple of weeks. However, if you're going through it hang in there!!! By week 6 everything levelled out for us completely. Many mums told me that 6 weeks was that magic week where everything changed and things got easier and my goodness were they right.
We all found our groove, we got into a routine and we officially knew each other really bloody well.

Since then it's been pretty much plain sailing and I've enjoyed every single moment with Goldie. I've loved breastfeeding Goldie, it's such a beautiful, beautiful thing. It truly does blow my mind how our bodies create something to nourish our child with, it's something I don't think I'll ever get over. But my goodness are those cluster feeding days tough! Woweee! I look back at them now with fondness and I know that if we're lucky enough to have another baby, I'll lean into those days spent sat feeding in bed, knowing that they will pass by so quickly. I regret not knowing that this time around, instead I worked myself up, I googled EVERYTHING and wondered whether my baby was getting what she needed from me, despite knowing that cluster feeding is a thing. My goodness what a ride motherhood is!

I've got to admit that lockdown and a newborn worked well for us and we enjoyed our lovely little bubble of lurrrrve. It meant we didn't have people knocking at the door, we had no pressure to get out and about and we could just enjoy our very small and special new born bubble just the three of us. But now things are opening up once again I'm so excited to share the world with Goldie.
We've been going on some lovely little outings together and she's just so interested in everything, it's beautiful to watch.
With things opening up comes a strange sense of anxiety for me though. Social anxiety and also anxiety around how I feel towards myself. I've not been overly kind to myself since Goldie arrived with us which is such a shame and such a shock to me since I've never loved my body more than whilst I was pregnant.
However, the body I'm in now is so new to me, I've never looked like this before and it's such an adjustment, particularly when fashion and personal style is such a huge part of my life.

I know that most new mums go through a bit of an identity crisis when they've just had a baby so I do find comfort in that, but throw in an impending wedding (yep, we're doing it!) and well, the self confidence is quite literally at rock bottom. However, four weeks into at Personal Training programme with my old pal Kaif and I'm already beginning to look and more importantly feel so much better. Moving my body and working on strength training as well as cardio and healthier food choices has worked wonders for my mind and my body and I'm hoping I'll be feeling like myself again in no time at all.

Whilst I'm on the topic of body image I must add that just because I'm not feeling myself right now and I'm a little harsh on my body, doesn't mean I don't value what it's done and what it's been through. What it's nourished, grown and fed. I'm so completely in love with what my body has done and a lack of body confidence now doesn't take away from that love for what it's done for me and my family, however I need to also look after my mental health now and that's where the exercise, healthier life choices and movement comes in. I'm beginning to feel like me again which in turn means I'll be the best version of myself for Goldie.

Looking at the polaroids above, of me heavily pregnant just one week before Goldie entered the world it still blows me away that she was once in there and now she's here, she's almost 4 months old, she's cheeky, she's adventurous, independent and so strong-willed, she's the light in our lives and I can't imagine life without her.

I'm excited to see her grow, to share the world with her and for all the adventures we will have together.
Motherhood is such a wild ride but my goodness it's pure magic.

x M