I've had a lot of time to think lately. Whether it’s on trains, planes or in my car, whether it’s in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep due to all the thoughts and feelings conveniently coming out of the woodwork at 2am. Whether it’s in waiting rooms, in the shower or midway through the day, my head has been in overdrive and to be perfectly honest it’s driving me potty… Warning, this could get waffley.
As I mentioned in my last post, the past couple of weeks have thrown me a little bit and I’ve struggled to find my footing, to get going and to be productive. Life’s thrown a couple more things our way recently and it’s only now that I’m able to push down on the accelerator and finally get cracking with February… On February 20th… Great!
I’ve been pondering my purpose and my place in this online world. Conflicted with who I once was and who I am growing into. I’m comparing myself from 3 years ago to the person I am today and I’m worrying and battling with myself with exactly where I sit, where I should sit and most importantly where I want to sit.
It’s only now when I’m looking at these very images of myself, all leather cladded and looking strong and dare I say “bad ass” for want of a better word, that I finally realise that there doesn’t need to be a specific place where I sit. I can sit here and then I can move over there and if I want to I can go back to sitting right here, figuratively speaking of course. I don’t need to be pigeon holed or worse, to pigeon hole myself. I can be strong one day, weak the next. I can be happy and sad, fun and boring. I can hibernate away at home one night to recharge my batteries following a night out. I can have it all if I want it all and I can do it all whilst wearing whatever the heck I want, I don’t need to be put in a box.
Boxes, stereotypes and pigeon holes were created as a way for people to try and understand other people. Grouping sets of people who dress, do and act the same is a way for the media to compartmentalise different people within society and I get it, it’s easier for our brains to understand something if it’s clearly defined. But I don’t want to be defined, I want to be varied and unexpected and I want the work I put out there to feel varied and unexpected too. I don’t want you to log onto my blog or Instagram and before your browser’s even had time to load you know exactly the look you’re going to see. I want to keep things exciting and develop and change as I grow, as trends come and trends go and as the inspiration hits.
Hat - ASOS, Blazer - c/o & OTHER STORIES, T-Shirt - c/o LAZY OAF, Jeans - REFORMATION, Boots - NASTY GAL, Bag - PRADA c/o NET-A-PORTER
But I am guilty of trying to pigeon hole myself would you believe it? Not just with my personal style and my place in the fashion industry but with life in general. As I’m getting older and approaching 30 I’m naturally thinking about the future a lot. About my future family, my future career goals and just life in general. Where do I want to be in 5 years time? I’m a planner, what can I say and you know as well as anybody that I really like to set myself goals to keep myself driven along the way. I think in this world right now we can lose sight of exactly who we are and who we want to be in favour of somebody else’s wants and needs whether they be someone close to us or somebody we’ve seen online. It’s easy to get distracted by the moves others are making and easy to forget exactly what we have achieved, just how far we have come and where we hope to be ourselves.
I’m not a creature of habit, I like to be constantly moving, to have exciting plans, to develop and to change and to be challenged, yet I think sometimes this holds me back as I become so insanely frustrated when things aren’t going the way I planned them to or things aren’t moving as fast as I hoped they would. I’m realising, slowly and with some resistance that sometimes I need to just stop. To evaluate my life and remember the bigger picture. I need to slow the heck down and realise not everything needs to happen right now and at once and that taking time to really think things through can often work out for the better. I think I need to get out of my own head a little, to take some time out to do the things that really make me happy and relaxed like reading, taking a bath, walking my dogs and researching. I need to slow down, to plan a little more and to stop getting frustrated at myself with how I think I should be feeling right now or where I think I should be right now and stop worrying that others might be thinking the same of me. Slow and steady wins the race after-all.
Living a fast paced way of life and probably being a little too impatient comes into all aspects of my life especially with my personal style.
I’ve been too inside my own head lately when it comes to fashion and my place in the industry wondering and worrying about where I should be or where I wish I was or what I wish I was doing or wearing. But I’m realising (again) that variety is the spice of life, I can be whoever I want to be, a different persona every day with a different inspiration or muse every day. I can be the seventies starlet on a Monday a nineties grunge kid on Tuesday and I can be a plain old boring but oh so comfortable version of myself on Wednesday in jeans and a jumper, I don’t need to be typecast to have a place within the industry.
Do you know what I mean? I’ve just written this entire piece in under 10 minutes as it’s been sitting in my little head for several days now and I think I just needed to let my fingers run riot and type it all out. I truly hope it makes sense and that you can understand and possibly even relate to where I’m coming from. Basically, don’t pigeon hole me nor anyone else and certainly not yourself. We’re human beings not toys, we don’t need to be put in a box. We can be whoever we want to be whenever we want to be it, please remember that.
x M
I totally get what you mean. I become really frustrated and impatient with myself because I often try and fit into how I think
I “should” dress, and things I “should” be doing because I feel boring when I don’t. But truth is, I love sitting at home relaxing in pyjamas, and I love wearing comfortable clothes that aren’t Instagram-worthy. And I think i forget that no one else cares what I do! Humans are multi-faceted we need to stop giving ourselves such a hard time.
I look forward to continuing to see the different sides of you as well, it’s personally what makes me relate to you more… if someone presents as a flawless concept all of the time it becomes unrealistic to me and I tend to disengage from influencers who do that… even though I *get* why they do that…
Sorry for the ramble!! Just really enjoyed the reality of this post
X
You’re SO right, I particularly love the line you used ” Humans are multi-faceted we need to stop giving ourselves such a hard time.” SO SO SO true!
Thank you for your lovely message, it truly means so miuch x
I adore the outfit – the mix of the masculine leather blazer paired with playful pink pieces!
The point you’ve made about being able to be one thing now and another thing the next moment is something I truly believe in, as well. Balance is key in my opinion and that applies to almost everything in life.
You go girl!
xx Zoe
Thanks Zoe, really glad you like the look 🙂 I’m also so glad that you believe in balance when it comes to personal style and everything else for that matter, it’s awesome to be someone who dresses differently every day x
I could never expect you to be a one trick pony that’s why I like your style so much. Also loving these pictures and this look. That Flintstones tee is amazing and I love the way you tied the pink in the with hat and bag 😍😍😍😍
Ahhh Ava thank you sweet, that truly means a lot. Thrilled that you like the look and the images, thank you so much for taking the time out to read 🙂 x
The fact that you can wear staples that are so clearly a Megan look while still being fresh and unexpected is so inspiring to me. Definitely not putting yourself in a box, just being you in wearable and attainable looks that constantly surprise!
Ohhhh thank you, that really is so lovely to hear xx
I am very familiar with this feeling! I think we often pigeon hole ourselves when we are uncertain about where we fit in or the decisions that we’re making – we look for other people to validate and create a sort of persona for us and then we retreat into that persona, never questioning whether that is how we want to be seen. It’s a timely post as well since today is my birthday and I’ve been reflecting on the ways I’ve grown and matured; I feel a lot more confident with myself now than I ever have and am constantly reminding myself that I don’t need to fit into a preconceived image! I especially think Instagram and the pressure to create a personal brand has contributed to this – in a lot of ways social media is a good thing, as it allows us to express ourselves creatively, but in other ways it puts even more pressure on us to compress ourselves into square boxes on a feed.
Your content constantly inspires me and I love that I can see it evolving while also remaining personal and identifiable 🙂 it is never predictable! I hope you are feeling better and that the rest of the month is much easier for you. Your blog is always a really nice place to come back to – it is always real and relatable, which is extremely refreshing.
Sydney Russo | thesydneystories.com
Thank you as always lovely Sydney for your beaut comment, it means so much that you take the time to read, to comment and to share your story/thoughts/ideas too, thank you! xx
Hi Megan,
I am truly loving your blog posts recently and I’m relating to them a lot! As I only have a few months of university left, I’m trying to plan what I should be doing next. Note I say “should be”… who the heck decides that?! Anyway, this post has refreshed my thoughts and encouraged me to think outside the box I thought I was in.
I hope you’re feeling better, keep being bad ass.
Emma
Ohh Emma, thank you! That means so much!
Congrats on nearing the end of uni, that is so freaking excitement and such a huge achievement! You do you babes and enjoy the ride! x
I loved that and it was definitely something I needed to hear right now so thank you 👏🏻
It’s my pleasure babe x
Just remember to acknowledge how far you’ve come and what you have achieved right now instead of always looking to the next thing. You, right now, are successful and on the grand scheme checklist of things are way ahead of the norm. Appreciate it for what it is. You can plan for the future and wish for more but don’t forget to congratulate yourself on what you’re achieving day to day. It’s enough.
Ohhh Lucy that really is so lovely to read on a miserable Monday morning. Thank you so much x
Hi Megan, I’ve been following you for years and will continue to do so because of posts like this! Thank you for staying true to yourself and being so open with your audience, your blog is like therapy and inspiration all wrapped up into one big colourful bundle xxxx
Ohhh Yvonne thank you so very much, that truly means so much to me. Thank you for always reading and supporting! x
Relate to this A LOT. You are probably in your saturn return right now. It forces you to re address how we live and think! We’re similar ages and I’m having the exact same nightmare. It’s nice to know I’m not alone, and you are literally so inspo it’s comforting to know that the people I get jealous of having it more together than me have the exact same thoughts!!
Lots of love xxx
Oooo really? That is so so interesting! I’m so fascinated with this kind of thing yet I know absolutely nothing about it. Do you have any websites or books that I could easily clue myself up on? Thank you Felicity x
As someone who is probably closer to your mom’s age than to yours I have come to this same conclusion many years ago. I love your colourful style and eccentricity but equally enjoy your eye for basics and especially I too am a 1970’s addict as it’s my generation. I think you should always remember that you became successful by following your instincts and enjoying clothes and styling. You don’t need to tone it down because you are getting older as you should continue to be yourself but equally if what you are naturally enjoying purchasing and wearing is changing then listen to that inner voice. Often we come to realize that we put ourselves into boxes as much as others put us there. As an indecisive Libra I have defied it by naturally being unable to commit to one look and that suits me just fine (hence Goth Victorian prom dress, 1980’s bolero jacket wedding look, punk college pics and Little Women inspired Christmas look among many, many, many others) Always remember fashion is fun! 🙂