Hello and a very Happy New Year to you!
I truly hope you had the most gorgeous Christmas and a very fun yet relaxing start to the new year and the new decade. It feels so weird to be sat at my desk at 630am on Monday 6th January 2020 after almost two weeks off. I simply can't remember the last time I gave myself two weeks off entirely; I certainly needed it and can't express just how energised, inspired and ready to go I am today. Sometimes time off is the last thing you think you need when in fact it's just the thing you need to get back to feeling like yourself and feeling motivated again.
Christmas is always such a busy period for me and the thought of stepping back from work feels so wrong and a little bit alien, however after just two days off I was already beginning to feel rejuvenated. Certainly something for me and I'd imagine a number of you to think about for 2020 and onwards- take time away from work!
So, it's the first day back at work for many of us, how are you feeling? Aside from feeling a bit achey having slept on my back a little bit funny, I'm pretty good and quite honestly I leaped out of bed this am.
Christmas was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me this year, amazing for the most part but with rocky patches here and there... But whats Christmas without some drama hey?
In happier news, wedding planning went up a notch which was so damn exciting; George and I feel more stoked for our wedding than ever before now we are quickly ticking things off of our list, or should I say carefully constructed spreadsheet, thanks maid of honour Faye 😉
I can't believe we get married this year WHAT THE HECK! This year is going to be absolutely crazy mental and I am SO damn ready for it and so ready to marry my best friend eeeeek!
Anyhoo, can you tell it's been a while since I wrote anything? What a load of waffle that was hey! But I'm so excited to be back to my beloved blog. Speaking of my beloved blog, I thought for our first post of 2020 that I'd share some quick and easy mirror snaps of some of the outfits I wore in-between PJ-days this festive period. Alongside the relaxed nature of the images, I wanted to both catch you up with whats been going on over the past two weeks, as I seem to have done already in this introduction... But also to chat about what you can expect going forward, how I'm feeling and what I have planned for 2020 so let's do this.
Dress - c/o & OTHER STORIES, Tights- NASTY GAL (similar here), Shoes- ZARA, Bag- STAUD, Hairclips- old BOOHOO (similar here)
Dress- RIXO
Throughout Christmas I managed to read a lot which was so refreshing as I simply adore getting lost in a book but often struggle to find the time. I finished another Taylor Jenkins Reid book and she really is fast becoming my fave author, but more on that in the next couple of book club posts, one of which I'm planning to shoot today so that will be live very soon. The passage below is from Maybe In Another Life by Reid and it really struck a chord with me.
I also started Where'd You Go Bernadette and I am absolutely loving it. It's been a couple of books since I've read something I don't want to end and this is exactly that.
Along with reading I've watched a lot of television both old and new.
Over the last month or so I've had SIX series on the go at once, which I must admit I do not recommend but at least I've never been bored...
Gilmore Girls(1-3 so far), This Is Us(3), You (2), New Amsterdam (2), The Crown (3), How To Get Away With Murder (5) I'm loving each and every series, particularly Gilmore Girls (I cannot believe I haven't seen it before) however I am finding The Crown season 3 a little slow in parts, anyone else? Whilst these 6 series and the pile of books I have for 2020 will keep me busy for a while please do let me know if there is anything you watched and loved over Christmas as I'd love to add them to my list.
So with all the reading, the series binge watching and the partying this Christmas I am shocked to say that from December 1st I haven't watched a single YouTube video and having been an avid YouTube watcher for the past four years this is quite something for me.
YouTube and I have had a pretty rocky relationship since I started my channel four years ago, I am either loving it, hating it or I'm extremely "meh" about it, both with creating and watching the creations of others. I've toyed with stepping away from YouTube for the past two years yet something will pull me back in and I'll fall in love with it all over again.
However, after a relatively successful year on YouTube, I've enjoyed creating and I'm proud of the videos I put out there in 2019, I have decided that my mental health and happiness is more important and 2020 is the year that I take a step back from video content in this way. And whilst I'm not saying this is forever, it's just not a priority of mine this year for a number of reasons.
First of all, if I'm no longer watching or engaging with YouTube content then for me that rings alarm bells. Why am I creating things that I'm not even enjoying watching...
Secondly when I think about the creators that I absolutely adore following, only one of them has a YouTube channel. That makes me realise that you don't need to tick every content creating box to be deemed successful. Many of the creators I love have tried YouTube and decided it wasn't for them and I guess thats exactly what I've done now albeit a long trial period of four years...
Lastly and I guess sadly of all, YouTube has a huge affect on my mental health. Unfortunately YouTube is the most negative space out there for me and I think for many content creators and after dealing with it for the past two years I've decided that it's just not something I need in my life anymore. The small negativity that I receive is nothing compared to that of others, however, I don't want nor need to accept it anymore. I started trying to regain control of my mental health and the negativity by reducing my YouTube uploads to just one video a week. I vlogged less and in those vlogs I didn't share any of my friends and family anymore aside from my sis, who gets it and is a tough cookie regardless.
So basically I'm stepping away from YouTube for a variety of reasons; it's not stimulating me creatively anymore, I'm not enjoying the platform as a consumer as well as a creator, I'm no longer accepting the negativity that comes into my life through that platform and finally as it's been four years it's time to move on and to put my creativity into something else. Whether that creativity goes back into my blog, which I feel I've neglected a little this past year, into my clothing line Saturday by Megan Ellaby, into my home, my wedding, my friends and family or into a new project entirely and I am extremely, extremely excited about it. I also feel strangely free and as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, temporarily at least.
Coat- KITRI STUDIO, Tee- & OTHER STORIES, Trousers- TOPSHOP (similar here), Socks- Hysteria by Happy Socks, Shoes- ZARA
Blazer- c/o & OTHER STORIES, Jumper- SATURDAY BY MEGAN ELLABY, Jeans- c/o H&M, Bag- c/o CHLOE, Boots- ASOS
I know some of you have reached out to say you're sad that I'm stepping away from YouTube but if you think about it like this, typically most people move on from a job after around 4 years. You gain your experience, your memories and your skills and then you move on to another place to learn some more and gain more experience, and I guess after 4 years of YouTube it's time for me to move on. Or at least put YouTube on hold for the time being.
The next quarter is for happiness, for making our house even more of a home, planning a wedding, writing as much as possible here, styling and shooting more content for my blog than ever (I'm SO stoked about this!) and for releasing more collections for Saturday now we're a year down and I've got to grips with the time it takes to produce everything (more on that in next week's post)
So, there we have a little new year catch up and a little bit about what you can expect from me coming up.
This feels like the most positive start to the year that I've had in the past three years and I'm excited to see what 2020 brings.
Lots of love to you all.
x M
Hey Megan,
lovely post as always!
I’m ‘sad’ to see you leave YouTube as I have always enjoyed your videos very, very much but can fully understand your reasons behind the decision. I will surely keep up with your blog and instagram – maybe we’ll see some IGTV instead?
Best,
Zoe xx
I’m sorry Zoe but thank you so much for understanding 🙂 Means a lot. Heck yes to IGTV instead x
Yaaay first blogpost of 2020! I really did enjoy your youtube videos but I completely understand your decision to step away from it. Also I enjoy your blog and your insta equally as much so I’m super excited to see what you’ll put out on there! This year I personally really enjoyed your more “lifestyle” related content, such as the blogposts on books and music!
Anyways, best wishes for the new year!
xx Marlena
That means the world Marlena, thank you darling x
Happy New Year to you and all your loved ones, Megan!
I’m actually happy that you’ll be stepping away from YT this year (not that I didn’t enjoy watching your videos, because I totally did). I’m happy that you’re strong enough to know what’s making you happy and what’s making you feel poorly. It’s not worth sticking with something that’s not fulfilling you, even if that means losing a few followers. Trust me, your avid followers will still stick around no matter what online platform you choose to use moving forward. I’ve always been much more of a blog reader than video-watcher, so I’d love to see you direct more attention to the blog now that you’ve made the decision to put YT on the back burner. Here’s to a wonderful 2020! xo
Ohhhh Vanessa wow that is so lovely to read, thank you thank you thank you x
I love the black &other stories dress!! I totally understand the step back from YT as I used to love watching it and have for years, but have grown away from it recently. as it often feels samey and like i’m putting useless stuff in my brain (!) Yours and Helen’s videos are the only ones that don’t feel that way to me! So it’s understandable but also sad! Happy new year! X
It’s insane isn’t it. Such a gorgeous flattering shape, I felt awesome in it!
It seems we’re on the same page when it comes to youtube content which is great and also I guess normal as we grow up together. xx Happy New Year to you too babe
Hey Megan, so happy to see a new blog post 😍 I personally loved watching your youtube vids and it was a monday ritual of mine to watch the new one but you should always put your mental health first ❤️ Maybe some more IGTV vids?
Brodie x
Oh Brodie I’m so sorry! Gutted that I’m messing with your Monday rituals but perhaps I could replace my Monday video with a Monday IGTV instead? Lots of love babe x
Good for you for putting yourself first! You could so easily become another blogger on the conveyer belt and it’s brave to step back from this huge channel. I will miss the wardrobe videos but look forward to reading more blogs ☺️
Thank you Louise. Fear not, the wardrobe videos will be taking a slightly different spin but coming to the blog or IGTV instead 🙂 x
Hi Meg! Happy new year babe! So glad to hear you soooo energized! As always you inspire me! For sure you are, is you wedding year!!! OOOOOH Meg I really can’t wait to see some details! The best will be to see also the dress you choose and be a part of your great day, but some details will be enough (LOL)!
“SO HAPPY TO MARRY MY BEST FRIEND” is really lovely to read <3
By the way I really miss you and you blog! I was waiting like my dog while I'm working! And finally…!
Thank you so much for your hand, I know you don't know but evertime I have to dress up I Must check through your fab outfits! And also for Xmas holiday I did the same (yes you save me at NYE, now you know it)! Also Faye for me is a big inspiration! I really love her too!
Oh babe how beautiful is the new knights collection of Saturday??? Just give me few time and I will have every single chlotes of Saturday inside my closet!
I am waiting for some dress!! Please I need yours! I am tired of other brands, Saturday looks like what I ever dream and I cannot imagine if you start to make dresses or skirts or even SHOES!
On Xmas i hoped my boyfriend gave me the mercury but… Nope… I just need to buy it by my self no present needed! 😛
I am in love with gucci's glasses babe and on you are OOOOOOHMYGOOOOD! STUNNING!
XOXO ADRIANA
As always Adriana thank you for your lovely comment, it’s so so kind of you.
Ahhh boyfriends ey, they never take the hint 😉 I look forward to seeing you rock the Mercury knit one day 😉 x
Happy New Year! It sounds like you’ve got so many exciting things to come this year. I completely understand wanting to take a step back from YouTube – especially if you’re not enjoying watching videos as much anymore. I for one am super excited to read about all of the amazing things you’ve got planned for this year on your blog 🙂 x
https://www.femaleoriginal.com
Oh Faye, I’m so glad, thank you ever so much x
Happy new year, Megan! I don’t know why, but it makes me so happy to read such a positive post. I’m so very happy to know you’ll blog more this year, because I really like reading your articles – they’re very refreshing! I wish you all the best for 2020 x
Oh Sophie wow thank you! That is so awesome to hear.
Wishing you the best for 2020 also x
Happy New Year Megan! I hope 2020 brings you so much joy!
It’s so so important to just take a step back and realise what’s important and put yourself first so good on you! I can only imagine the pressure for content creators to have a finger in every pie and try to tick all those boxes.
I can’t wait to see some of the content you’ve got lined up for your blog! It’s always amazing and inspires me so much. I’m also very keen for some new Saturday pieces!
Keep doing you gal xxx
Thank you Madelyn, that is so lovely to read. Thank you for reading and for the kind words, it means a lot xx
Dear Megan. Happy new year! And thank you for this really thoughtful and well-written post.
I’m a Youtuber myself and have been for the past 4 years, and I totally agree with you on some of your points. I share a mix of both lifestyle and fashion content as well as guides & tips to a more healthy and sustainable lifestyle. And the negativity on YT is horrible! Even if you put a video out there that is meant to make people feel good, someone will always pick it apart and make you feel terrible. And I’m like you, I have a hard time dealing with even smaller amounts of negativity that is hidden between all the nice and positive feedback I get. It just gets to me. I’m sticking with Youtube though, but sometimes I’ve thought about muting comments. Not because people aren’t allowed to use their freedom of speech and give feedback, but I feel like there are other platforms you can send things like that off. DM’s on Instagram for example. The comment section on Youtube has this weird way of getting super toxic sometimes, that I haven’t experienced on any of my other platforms the same way. It’s weird and sad all at the same time. Just as much as I agree that people have a right to speak their minds, I think that it should be more accepted that creators have a right to protect themselves through, for exaple – as mentioned – by muting the comment section.
I do know that Youtube is working harder on protecting their creators though, by automatically holding back nasty comments that was written with no other intend than to hurt you. I hope it will become better through time, but I do have my doubts sometimes. And you’re right – you DON’T have to be on all platforms for sure! I feel like IGTV is a great opportunity for those people that are not that into YT but love creating video content. Some videos even perform better on IGTV anyway! Finger’s crossed that IG might develop some forms of monetisation on those to reward creators that offer that excellent content, who knows!
Anyway, that was a long waffle from one content creator to another – I’m sorry haha! Didn’t mean to take up so much space beneath your wonderful post. Just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna miss your videos for sure, but I COMPLELETY get why you need some time away from Youtube. It’s just not always the same space it used to be at this point. All the best for you this year both professionally and personally!
Signe x
Hey Signe,
Thank you so much for your gorgeous super long comment, it means so much that you’ve taken the time to respond to my post like this.
I’m sorry that you’ve received negativity on YouTube also, it’s such a strange platform.
Perhaps a break is exactly what I need to get a little bit stronger and able to deal with it? Who knows, but right now I don’t want that kind of negativity in my life and I’m already feeling so much better having taken the YouTube burden from on top of me 🙂
Lots of love to you and I hope 2020 is fabulous for you x
Happy New Year Lovely! Sorry to hear you are taking a break from YouTube! I hope you will continue with IGTV? I loved your Manchester series!
Good luck with the wedding planning!
Helen xx
IGTV FOR SURE <3<3<3
Happy New Year! Loved this little post and as sad as I am that you won’t be creating videos for me to slyly watch at work anymore… (ahur) It will be nice to see you on the blog a little more!
I’ve read a few creators posts wishing for a bit more traffic on their little corners of the internet – I may be wrong, but it sadly seems to be a bit of a dying artform – SO I FOR ONE AM GLAD YOU’RE PUTTING IT AT THE TOP OF YA LIST. Maybe if more creators do the same – it will be revived!
Wishing you a mega 2020!
Lots of love, Lizzie
I think you’re right about blogging being less in demand as it once was but for me it’s the love and joy I get from creating content for my blog. It’s my baby and I want to really go for it once again. Numbers have never really been a driving force for me so it doesn’t worry me too much but it means so much that you’re reading and taking the time to comment, thank you <3 x
DEVESTATED you’re not going to do YT anymore!!!! by far my fave there. but important to take care of yourself first and foremost. hope to see you back there soon though, at least occasionally! x
Oh nooo, I’m so so sorry! But hey, it might not be forever <3
Thanks for your lovely comment, it means a lot x
Awwww. Im so going to miss you on youtube but mad props for tkaing care of yourself and your mental health. srsly.
Thanks so much Bethany, means a lot x
I do love watching your YouTube but perhaps we could see video content from another platform instead?
Also would love an Ellaby podcast with fashion chats! Xx
Absolutely, IGTV is going to be seeing a lot from me this year x
Happy new year Megan!
I’m super happy for you, that you made this decision. Mental health always has to be the top priority.
I am (or have been) a total consumer of social media and especially YT. I’ve watched what feels like every “best make up of 2018” video out there and spend many evenings attched to my phone. I barely never got shit done and neglected my body and mental health more and more. I guess YT was something like an escape for me but in a bad way. I found myself watching videos multiple times and I always wanted to be like these people I was watching. It had good effects too, don’t get me wrong. My style changed (a lot and especially because of you, so thank’s for that. 🙂 ) and I don’t care so much about what other people think anymore. But the amount of hours I spend online “wasting my time away” increased. The good news is, a few weeks ago I totally stopped. I don’t know why it happend but I have not watched a single “best make up of 2019” video, unfollowed a bunch of people on instagram and reduced the time I’m online to a minimum. I now consume “quality over quantity” haha. I read a lot more, listen to podcasts and really try to think about what I want to consume online and how much time I devote to these things.
I got carried away.. Can you tell that that’s my first comment ever? Haha sorry. I guess I just wanted to say, that I totally feel you and your disconnection to YT and I am happy that you decided to take a step back from it. Don’t get me wrong I loved your videos and especially your vlogs. But I totally understand the need for private family time.
I’m super excited to see what’s next for your blog and saturday, wishing you all the best and a fabulous 2020. You go girl!
Sarah x
Oh Sarah your comment made me smile, thank you so much for taking the time out to comment, it means a lot.
I guess we’re on the same page with YouTube and preferring other ways of switching off, like podcasts and books as you said.
Thank you for being so great and so understanding.
xx
Hey Megan. I’m glad you feel in a happier place and are super excited for your wedding- I certainly feel excited for you! I just wanted to say that although there may have been negative comments on YouTube I hope you never look back on it with feelings of regret. You were a much needed source of escapism for me at a time I needed something to escape too. As a keen watcher of your videos I will be sad not to have a weekly dose of Ellaby smiles but am glad you found your groove. Hope you have a lovely 2020 with many smiles and positive thoughts. Love from a keen reader and watcher!
Ohhh thank you darling, that is so lovely. I can’t believe it’s wedding year ARGHHHH!
I’m sorry to be leaving videos behind but it might not be forever, who knows a break might be just what I need. Lots of love x
Happy New Year!! This post was super lovely to read, I totally understand your need to move on – not just because of the negativity, but simply because it does feel very nice to move on from things sometimes (and is necessary too). I always enjoyed your videos so much, in fact they have been my favourite videos on youtube for a while. All the things you have planned for this year sound super exciting and I hope you won’t feel discouraged by others telling you to stay on youtube – life is growth and that means change. I can very much relate to your excitement for this year, I myself started a business lately and I love the possibilities (even though uncertainties) it brings. I wish you all the best for 2020 and really look forward to following you on your journey of creativity and entrepreneurship. Lots of love from Austria, Nora
WOW thank you Nora, it’s so lovely to hear that you enjoyed my videos and I’m sorry that I’ve had to put them on the back burner for now in pursuit of other priorities but I’m so glad you understand. Thank you x Wishing you all the best for 2020 also lovely x
Totally get why you would want to step away from YouTube, mental health is getting more recognition these days and it’s a good thing when you can pinpoint what makes you unhappy. Whether it be short term or over for good, then you’ve obviously thought it through…good on you! I’m a mother myself and I bet your own mum is pleased you’re taking a step back! You look after yourself chick and enjoy planning your wedding…that’s your priority for now! Big hugs x