Stuck between I don’t know, I don’t care and I don’t give a fuck! What a fabulous and totally appropriate T-shirt for today’s blogpost ey?
There are many perks to working for yourself in your twenties such as the freedom, both literally and creatively, the pride of creating a world for yourself and of course, in my case doing something I completely and utterly love.
But having faced a number of the downsides to being self employed all at once recently and having come out the other side I thought it would be beneficial to discuss this instead, as I am yet to see anything of this nature written online by someone in a similar position as I and I think it just might help a bit.
Discussing the downside to being your own boss and running your own businesses in your twenties is something I’ve wanted to chat about for a while. It’s a tricky subject to tackle as I am so grateful and so proud to have created this job for myself and I truly, truly love what I do. However, I think it’s important to show the downsides to life; the things that make us all human and I guess the things that go unspoken in this world of social media.
I often worry about these types of posts because it is now SO easy to offend someone these days, even by simply talking about the way I feel. I’m sure some negative Nelly will leave this blogpost having only taken away the fact that they feel I am “ungrateful” or “moaning” but they’re not the people I’m talking to, they never have been and they never will be.
The people I’m talking to in this blogpost are those that have supported me from the beginning, or even those that have only just started supporting me, but who have been there for me through the ups and the downs. I am very much a normal 26 year old Northern gal, who just so happens to be on social media and just so happens to work for herself. It’s taken a lot of hard work to get here and more recently a little knock to my mental health so I think it’s important to share this with you and to also act as a little bit of therapy for me too, ‘cause we all know how good it feels to talk! If you’re feeling at all down, lost or completely messed up, please know you’re not alone. Talk to somebody whether it’s me (my emails and DM’s are always open) or even better a close friend or family member. A problem shared is a problem halved after all!
So, six and a half years and a heck load of work, into this rather strange yet totally wonderful career online and just when I thought I had the whole thing sussed, something shifted and I began to spiral out of control a wee bit. Now I’m not being dramatic here but I really did change a little. Something inside my head altered and I was no longer the positive, proactive and driven person that I had always been. I began to doubt everything I wrote and shared, I doubted what I was wearing and I had a panic attack in the middle of a busy dance floor…
That was one of the scariest moments of my life and I actually can’t believe I’m writing this here. My mum’s not going to be happy with me for sharing this one, but if it helps just one of you then I’ll be glad I did share after all.
After my major blip on the dance floor I raced to my parents house at midnight and cried my eyes out for no reason whatsoever. I proclaimed that I’d lost myself, I didn’t want to do this anymore and that I wanted to hide away from the judgemental eyes of viewers and followers.
You see, when you read nasty and fabricated things about yourself online, despite how many or how few there may be, you start to believe them. You start to think that everyone else thinks that, and you inevitably lose yourself to the negativity.
Until this moment back in January I’d been able to brush off the negativity (after having a sulk about it for a day or two) but it was the moment I felt that I didn’t know what to wear in a morning that I knew that I’d lost myself well and truly. Styling myself was always something I was so confident in, even when everything else seemed so uncertain. I knew who I was style wise and I used clothing as an armour against the world or as a persona I wanted to create that day- the minute that faltered I knew it was bad.
After a period ov moping in my own self pity, I decided to take ownership of myself again. I sorted out my wardrobe, I added a new piece or two that really sparked joy within me and I brainstormed what it was that I was good at and what it was that I enjoyed doing.
Doing all of the above and sadly going through the tougher times of being self employed through being online made me realise how important it is to feel inspired in your work, no matter how that translates in your industry, I am a fashion content creator so like it or not I need to have some of the newness that is out there in order to style, write and inspire you guys, I can only hope that it allows you to make better and more meaningful purchases going forward.
Unfortunately negativity in this way comes part and parcel with a lot of jobs that are perhaps a little newer in the grand scheme of things or jobs that not everybody understands. It’s the way we as the individual deal with it that makes a difference and from here on out I’m trying to find that inner sass in order to turn the other cheek to such bad vibes.
I’ve heard this term a lot lately and it seems that sadly a lot of online creators are feeling this way; a telling sign of what negativity online, and I guess just working online entirely, can do to our self worth and our mental health. But it’s not just working online, this seems to be happening across a whole host of job roles; I think it’s a rather millennial issue that a lot of us are trying to deal with which is really rather sad.
I never really understood the meaning of Imposter Syndrome until this year when I felt guilty about something I’ve dreamt about all my life potentially happening. I’m still unable to feel proud or get excited about this prospect and it’s really quite sad. I know deep down that this is an incredible achievement but my stupid brain won’t allow me to realise that I’ve earnt it. Instead I feel guilty and not worthy of such a thing and the thought of actually telling people about said achievement is terrifying to me… Go figure!
I would love to be able to tell you exactly how I’ve worked to over come this one but the truth is that it's still a work in progress, something I’m trying to deal with and work out through time. I’m sure/I hope when said “exciting prospect” actually happens that I’ll be able to enjoy it for what it is but until then imposter syndrome is very much a part of my day-to-day life.
SUNGLASSES - BURBERRY c/o David Clulow, NECKLACE - c/o MIKAELA LYONS, ROLL NECK - MONKI, T-SHIRT - ADOLESCENT CLOTHING, SKIRT - c/o WEEKDAY, BAG - CHLOE, BOOTS - JOSEPH (similar here)
Ahhh that age old problem of nailing the work:life ratio. Something I was convinced I had nailed but something I’m realising, with time, comes in waves. Sometimes it’s level, other times it isn’t and that’s just life. However, it doesn’t stop it becoming a bit of an issue at times.
When I first took my blog into full time territory I had this down to a fine art. I loved being able to take the morning or afternoon off to enjoy the perks of being self employed. And if I wanted to take the day off to enjoy some time with George, friends, family or just for me then I’d do it, safe in the knowledge that this was what I’d worked so hard for and that I deserved it. I was confident in my routine and confident enough in my work to allow myself to revel in working for myself.
Fast forward four years and the guilt mentioned in the previous section is rife here too. I feel SO damn guilty when I’m having an off day, when I’m lacking in inspiration for blogposts and videos and when I’m in a CBA mood for even getting myself ready in a morning. The guilt is real, and due to this guilt my productivity gets a whole lot worse. But instead of allowing myself to feel this way and getting out of the house to do life errands instead of work errands, I beat myself up, which is absolutely not the way to tackle these feelings.
In the past few weeks I’ve tried to take the steps to regain the confidence and enjoyment I once had for being self employed. I’ve allowed myself to take the afternoon off in order to take my Nanna out for lunch, something I love doing and something I know makes a huge difference to her week too. I’m spending mornings with my cousins and their babies and I’m clocking off early to grab a glass of wine with friends and I can slowly feel my mojo creeping back in and it’s fab.
Being able to work for yourself is a luxury that not everyone has and I know that I should enjoy it while it lasts ‘cause it might not be the case forever. I’m also learning that taking the time away from my work actually helps in the long run, it provides more interesting Instagram Stories or vlog footage, it takes me away from a non-starter idea and works to give me the inspiration I need, and it of course does wonders for my happiness.
Learning to switch off is key for all kinds of jobs, there’s no point dwelling on what you could be doing, if you’re not feeling it then step away, take a breather and come back to it tomorrow. Work will always (hopefully) be there and in the grand scheme of things, is it really as important as taking your Nan out for pizza?
The Future Is Uncertain
Speaking of work hopefully always being there, it’s a struggle to know where this career in particular is headed. I certainly believe that social media will develop and grow and there will always be room for us online, however it’s a scary thought doing this forever, particularly when it comes to self worth and mental health. I think it’s important with any job to have your fingers in many pies, similarly to me with my blog and online world, and then of course with my clothing brand Saturday. I also have other things in the background that I don’t share online that act as creative outlets in case I want to move onto something else entirely. It’s a scary thing not knowing what the future holds, particularly with a job that didn’t exist past 10 years ago, but I just need to remember that no job is certain, the future is scary for everyone no matter what they do and we’re all in this world of uncertainty together.
And here I am, writing this section two week’s after writing the rest of this post, having had a bad day for comparing myself to others. I know it’s bad, I know comparison is the thief of joy and I know it doesn’t do me any damn good, but yet here I am on my very rare but very much there comparison spree.
Comparison is of course a part of every type of job out there, there is always someone you look to who might be doing a little better, working a little faster or succeeding a little louder, but it’s important to not allow this to affect us negatively. Don’t let what other people are doing ruin the way you see yourself (easier said than done I know) we’re all doing our thing in our way and in our own time and whilst it’s normal to compare from time to time, as long as it’s utilised in a way to spur you on to be better then unfortunately it’s something that simply comes with being human.
If I’m feeling less of a human, I try to think of 4 things that I am grateful for and as hippy dippy as that sounds, it always makes me realise exactly what I’ve got and brings me crashing back to earth with one almighty “GET A GRIP!” Try it, I’m telling you it works!
Tracking Data and The End Is Near (Of this blogpost I mean)
And so there we have it, the worlds longest blogpost (sorry!) But clearly I had a lot to get off my chest and whilst I’m sure these ups and downs will come and go it feels good to have written the feelings I’ve been struggling to process for so long down onto my very own blog, something I am extremely proud to own.
Sometimes working for yourself isn’t all it’s cracked up to be; Yes of course it’s fabulous at times and I feel so lucky to do what I love every single day, but it’s more the things it does to your mind and your self worth that are harder to understand. Not to mention it can often feel quite lonely doing this kind of job, so getting out and away from work is something we must try and do more of.
In order to try and tackle all of the above to the best I can I’ve resorted to tracking my own data, sounds weird but hear me out…
I listened to one of Emma Gannon’s podcasts lately, with Wah Nails founder Sharmadean Reid, where she discussed how important it was to track your own data in order to truly understand yourself, makes sense right! How are we supposed to know why we are feeling this way if we don’t have a little log on when we last felt it.
I know that when I’m down for no apparent reason and of course when my boobs ache, that my period is imminent. However, when I’m angry and unmotivated for no reason I can’t understand it and therefore punish myself for feeling this way which does no good for anything, especially not for my productivity. So instead I’m noting in my calendar when I’m feeling this way, so I can look back on it next time I feel that way to see if there is any correlation. Perhaps I had a night out the evening before, maybe I ate too many carbs, didn’t drink enough water, or maybe it’s a certain month of the year that brings me down, tracking this kind of data can only be useful in learning to understand who you are, what you need and how to get it.
For example, I feel extremely low throughout January and February, I mean, who doesn’t, but this has been a reoccurring theme for the last few years. Christmas is over, the festivities, parties and get-togethers are over, we’re back to work. But for me, work is very quiet and rationally (or deffo not) I feel like my career is over…
It’s been this way for the past three years at least, so next year, rather than revelling in my own misery and lack of worth, I’m going to ensure that I have a holiday booked for the end of January in order to stop this cycle from continuing, sounds great ey!
We all have down times, slow times and moments of doubt, it’s totally normal, it’s talking about it and sharing these moments with one another that make it better for you and for everyone else. We all need to know that we’re not alone in our thoughts and our feelings so we can help one another through it. So thats why I’ve written this post today and I hope it helps even just one of you to know that we’re all the same whether we work for ourselves or not, and that it feels better to talk, or in my case to write.
Just wanted to leave a little note to say that you’re doing great and there’s nothing better than legging it to your parents house for a jolly good cry. The fact that you recognise these feelings is one of the biggest first steps! Too many people end up in a downwards spiral because they beat themselves up for feeling frankly dreadful, and I think using your platform to normalise all of this is very strong and brave! The more often we see the words panic attack, or depression or whatever, the more it enters our mainstream conversations and I’m the first to tell anyone who asks that yep, been there, because it’s not something we should be ashamed of. I love what you do and in a not creepy way I love watching what you’re becoming from the indie chick I went to the college leavers ball with, sharing a pitcher of WooWoo in the Peel, to an actual business woman with her head on straight! I’ll never enter the same industries as you but working remotely in data and tech, I feel a lot of the same imposter syndrome, and work life balance probs and can take a lot of good advise from blog posts like this. And with that, I’m off to yoga, at lunchtime on a Thursday, because, well, I can. Lots of love xxx
Megan Ellaby says
You have no idea how much it means to see your comments in here Ellen! You’re such a good egg, thank you!
Thanks for understanding and making me feel less alone. Thanks also for making me LOL at the good ole college days haha, we should deffo go for a drink sometime soon? But maybe this time not a pitcher of WooWoo HAHA!
Such a well written post Megs, I was really looking forward to this one! I’ve been working half/half as blogger and social media manager for the past 2 years or so, and only recently took the plunge to transform completely into being my own boss. And like you, I try to keep my career a little more safe with having other stuff going on to support my online career as well, just because who knows how long you can keep doing this or how long (as you also write) you are able to handle it mentally? Sharing so much of your life online is no joke.
I think other than the imposter syndrome you mention, another thing that is characteristic to us millennials is almost like a “violation syndrome”. People feel violated by the smallest things these days (and who can blame us really, with all the messed up things that are going on in this world sometimes), and so some people take their freedom of speech to whole new levels especially online, not thinking about how much they actually hurt the person sitting on the other side of the screen. I mean, for example I’m trying to be a gentle everyday-eco activist and inspire people to make realistic but powerful changes in their way of consuming, and still there will always be people who believe I’m not doing good enough – completely neglecting the fact that there are so many people doing absolutely NOTHING at all, but still feel the need to downgrade all the hard work I’ve been doing the past 5 years to get myself here into nothing but a scam. So I completely feel your frustration, especially speaking of the imposter syndrome. Eventually those (not very constructive) words will get to you, and you start questioning if this is at all worth it – even though you know your are very privileged to be able to work with something you absolutely love, and with so much freedom too. Everything in life is relative, and even though it might come off as you being “ungrateful” your feelings are just as real as anything else.
Having shared a little of my own experience with you I just wanted to say, that I’ve followed you for a couple of years now and your videos especially has been such a great place to check into for me for some many reasons. We don’t necessarily share the same style fashionwise, but your cheerful soul and the warmth you share with your family and boyfriend reminds me that there’s so much love in this world afterall. I’ve had a troublesome childhood myself and I’ve spend a great deal of my 20s feeling lonely too, and I admire the unbreakable bond you seem to have with your family and friends. In a world where people tend to choose their own individual happiness over anything else (fear of missing out; another millennial syndrome), I think that’s something you can all be well proud of. And it’s something I take with me into my own adulthood, thinking “that’s the kind of parent I want to be for my own children too”. Also, the kind of online content I value most is either content that can teach me something or content that can make me feel relaxed and grounded, something that can block out any anxieties I might feel looking at the world sometimes. And you’ve definitely been that kind of online persona for me.
Whatever you choose to do career-wise in the long run, please know that at least you’ve meant a lot to someone in this world and I truly believe you’ve earned everything you’ve accomplished – no matter what the trolls try to make you think. The good will always win <3
Love, Signe x
Megan Ellaby says
Signe, I read your comment in a taxi on the way home from a photoshoot and teared up a little bit! It honestly made me feel all the emotions from sadness, to happiness, to joy and relief; relief that my blogpost meant something and that you could relate to it in some way, thank you!
Thanks for sharing your story too it honestly, truly means the world and I’ll certainly be re-reading your gorgeous comment whenever I need a pick-me-up.
I hope you’re doing good my love and thanks again! Have a gorgeous weekend x
Also, by “violated” what I meant was actually more “offended”. 😉 think that’s the word I was looking for. Anyway, think you got my point!
What a wonderful, honest and heartfelt post Megan! x
Megan Ellaby says
Thank you Kate <3 x
Izzy Matias says
I can relate to this post so much even though I’m not a full-time blogger. I send you loads of positive vibes. I truly hope you’ve been feeling better lately. I know it can get tough especially if you’re not able to switch off from work. I feel ya! I’ve been growing my blog whilst juggling a day job and sometimes it’s just so overwhelming that I also burst into tears. Sharing about your experiences makes us know we’re not alone, so thank you for sharing. 🙂 I’ve had my share of panic attacks & anxiety.. it ain’t pretty. And yes it can get hard when you compare yourself to others, but you’re such a unique blogger. I love how you’re able to stay authentic and that your presence online is so positive. I always look forward to seeing your posts! Whenever you feel like it gets too much, please take a break because you deserve it. I also have recently started reading positive affirmations daily and have seen that it helps lift my mood. Always cheering you on, Megan! 🙂
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Izzy, lovely Izzy, thank you for taking the time to read such a hefty post of mine! It means so much to read your words and to know you’re cheering me on, thank you! I too am cheering you on! You got this girlie!
I love the idea of reading positive affirmations everyday, is this an app? I’d love it if you could share with me x
Izzy Matias says
You’re welcome! 🙂 And awww thank you too, Megan! 🤗I looked online (on Pinterest haha!) for positive affirmations and compiled a list in a notebook. Some of the affirmations I have written down are : “I will succeed. I am confident. I choose to be positive. I am good enough. I am living my dream life.” It’s really up to you which affirmations speak to you. 🙂
I was so excited for this post since you mentioned it last week and it didn’t disappoint! I also commented on your last post that I’d recently made the move from working as a fashion designer in an office, to now doing freelance design and working from home, and that I wasn’t quite enjoying it just yet. I feel the same as you already, and I’ve only been freelance for a month. I don’t feel like it’s a “proper job” and I feel awful when I take the afternoon off or go to the gym at lunch. I’m so used to being in an office all the time with colleagues that I’ve been conditioned to feel guilty for taking time off. And don’t get me started on the self employed tax stuff – I’m so confused!
I guess the main thing I’m worried about is feeling lonely and not making any new friends. Usually I make all my friends at work but since moving back home to Manchester after living and working in London for years, most of my friends are down South 🙁
Thanks for speaking about your panic attacks – honestly I would never have guessed because you always seems so happy, but social media isn’t necessarily reality!
Megan Ellaby says
Ahhh Amy thanks so much for commenting again, it’s lovely to hear from you!
It’s a tough thing the ole guilt tripping yourself isn’t it! It’s ridiculous really when we know deep down that it’s more than okay to take some time away from work and it benefits us in the long run, yet that little guilt monster creeps right on up to us, damn it!
Friends is a tricky one and I can’t lie that it is hard to make them when you work for yourself, I was in a similar position to you when I left London to return to Manchester and in-turn left some friends behind. I just try and be as social as possible and hope that new friendships will form organically, it’s deffo not something you can force ey?!
Ahhh yes social media is definitely a highlights reel. I try to be super honest as often as I can, especially on here so I’m glad what I said meant something to you.
Thanks again for reading babe x
Such a refreshing read. Even as a non self employed individual I can so relate to all of this! You’re fabulous. Keep doing what you’re doing X
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Beth thank you. It was a hard blogpost to write and to hit publish on bit I’m glad even as a non self employed individual that you could relate. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and to comment, it means a lot x
Thank you so much for your authenticity and openness. I could only dream of doing what you do for a living, and while it all seems to look so easy from an outsiders perspective I appreciate these doses of reality. I’ve been blogging since October, and I feel like a total mess all the time, comparing myself to other people, struggling to create content, feeling uninspired, watching my already dismal views dissipate; I can only imagine the pressure you must feel having created something (a network of content/people/business) that is so obviously dear to you. Thank you for sharing your struggles, and I hope you know that your content is very loved x
-Georgia | http://www.thestatesofgeorgia.com
Thank you so much for sharing this Megan, it was such an Interesting read 🙂
Emma at http://www.collagemepretty.com
Such a good post! Thanks a lot for sharing! I’ve somewhat been in your shoes too, having been a self-employed writer for a couple of years. It has been the most exhausting years of my life! I’m 27 and have a lot to figure out yet as any twenty-something, and doing that all while being my own boss and cooperating with people twice my age is really hard sometimes. It can feel like you have to know so much, and grow up so fast when you’re self-employed. I think it’s really important to follow one’s own guts, to take time to figure out where you really want to go (not just saying yes all the time because “it’s a wonderful opportunity” – as a wise person said to me once: “if it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t”), and taking time off completely. I’m still learning myself!
I really love your work and have felt so inspired by your style since the moment I found your blog! You’ll get that balance!
Megan Ellaby says
I’m so glad you can relate to this post Elisabeth but also so sad that you’ve gone through some of the same things as me, life ey! Thanks so much for the lovely words and the words of wisdom, I’ll try and remember that xx
Megan, I’m so glad you wrote this post. You definitely bring a lot into the blogging community, not only with your unique style and voice, but with your honesty. Like you said, the bad sides are not highlighted enough, but they are just as important as the good ones. You were very real with this post, that was very brave of you to share how you feel.
I can only relate a little bit, as I’m going to be a freelancer too once I graduate at the end of the year (as a translator). I loved reading about your experience, and know that there are so many of us who love your content and don’t actually expect anything. If you can’t keep up with your schedule, it’s totally fine. Mental health should always be one’s priority.
I wish you all the best with your new projects (moving house, driving (it took me 4 tries and 3 fails to get it so I know the pain haha)). The new Jimmy’s project in Liverpool seems insane by the way!
Lots of love <3
Megan Ellaby says
Thank you for reading Madeline and for being so lovely always! x
Rebecca See says
I go on holiday every January too! It’s a slow month for me ( wedding florist) and I also have the feeling of impending doom around my career every January. A holiday at that time of year Is a total game changer! ☺️
Megan Ellaby says
I will report back in January 2020 😉 ahha thanks gorge x
Michelle Lloyd says
Good on you for writing this Megan! As someone who follows your Insta and often thinks “I wish I could be more like her” it’s refreshing to know that even you have down days and struggle with confidence. It’s so important that people talk about it, especially as like you say, your job is relatively new and it’s difficult to know the effect it can have on someone until it has (if that makes sense?!) As someone who works with mental health charities and talks in the media about my own mental health and the effects of social media on that – I think it’s great that you have shown the flipside. So important for people to recognise that whilst it looks all fun and games it is still a job and with it comes the same stresses as other jobs. You’re great and don’t stop being you – you’re very relatable and likeable and “normal” and I think that’s why so many people love you. Just remember that when you’re having one of those days; there will always be mean people who like to tear a strip off but they don’t matter. What matters is you’re doing something you love and bringing joy to others xxx
Megan Ellaby says
Thanks so much for reading Michelle and for your gorgeous comment! It means so much to hear from you and to know that you enjoyed my post. It was a tricky one to read but I’m so glad it’s allowed people to realise that no matter what job you do we all have our moments of self doubts where we wobble a bit/ a lot.
Lots of love and thanks so much for your lovely words x
This was actually a really good read.
I work in an office job, full time, which I actually love, but I often find myself jealous and longing for the life of you ‘lucky’ influencers and girls running your own brands and businesses.
It’s really nice to see the self disclosure you’ve done and that actually you have a lot of similar worries and ‘moments’ with yourself doubting your decisions or what you’re doing with your life.
It’s even nicer to see that you’re aware of all of this and are taking steps to get your mojo back – you’re clearly an inspiration to a lot of people and they’re the ones that matter, not the negative Nora’s who love a moan!
Thanks for giving me a little perspective that life on the other side of the Instagram grid isn’t all glitter and rainbows and actually we’re all pretty much going through the same things in this crazy world!
Keep doing you and focussing on those important things like pizza and your nan! xx
Megan Ellaby says
Thanks Rhian glad you enjoyed the post and it was able to change your views on us “lucky” influencers. We are very lucky to do what we do but like any job it’s hard at times and not always rainbows!
Lots of love and thanks so much for reading and dropping me a comment x
Totally get what you mean! When you work for yourself there’s also that misconception that it’s not really a “real job” or people don’t take you as seriously, which ofc I can laugh off–but in the back of my mind it’s constantly like “you’re a failure because you don’t have a REAL job”. It slowly takes a toll on your mental health and suddenly one day you’re crying because you forgot to buy milk but really it’s cos everything has overwhelmed you at once(too specific?? oops maybe). It’s important to talk about these subjects and I’m glad more people that are self-employed/freelance are talking about it, makes it feel less isolating.
Megan Ellaby says
Totally with you on that one babes, it’s a struggle to listen to what you know in your heart and not let the doubters make you feel less of a person <3
Thank you for sharing your inner struggles with us and normalising how we all seem to be feeling every now and then. I have been a huge fan of your blogs, vlogs and now clothing range since discovering your instagram page in 2016. You have helped me with my personal style including discovering a lot of new designers and brands I’d never heard of! I also really enjoy your homeware hauls and seeing all the quirky bits and bobs that you style your home with. The future is uncertain but for now I really do enjoy reading your blog posts and watching the videos you post as they spark joy in me, especially cuties Peter and Nancy! Keep being you and doing what you’re doing we’re all here for the ups and downs :).
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Nina thank you so much! It means the world to hear you enjoy what I do and makes everything so worthwhile. I love what I do so it’s so great to hear it’s being well received Thank you x
What a heartfelt post Megan, and totally agree that sometimes just a good old cuddle from mum is very much needed. It’s a funny old world we live in and there’s a lot of jealousy out there. Doing the job you do leaves you quite vulnerable I should imagine but you’re such a lovely person with an amazing family to support you so you should be very proud of yourself! Do not feel guilty for having time for yourself, you keep looking out for your Nanna, bit of normality now and then will do you the world of good! Take care x
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Pam thank you 🙂 Means the world to have your support 🙂 Your lovely comment really made my morning, thank you x
Mackenzie Thompson says
Heya there Megan, I wanted to thank you for your transparency and constant inspiration and motivation I pull from you, your videos, your blog and content. I feel almost selfish for how much you give, give, give- and how hard it is for us content consumers to let you know how much you were loving it!
I’ve worked remotely for several years, and while working for yourself is definitely more challenging, I recognize so many of the same challenges you mentioned in my own day to day.
I recently attended a talk hosted by Brene Brown, if you haven’t read her books, watched her Ted Talk or new Netflix special seriously stop and go do that the next time you’re feeling down and out. She is an awe-inspiring bad ass lady who dives into many of the topics you mentioned above and uses data to prove her points.
Here’s some quick takeaways from her talk last week, that just so amazingly go along with your blog post I can’t not share:
Imposter Syndrome- if not me, then who? Who benefits if you don’t do it, no one, and no one like you.
Narcissm- shame based fear of being ordinary
Vulnerability- setting boundaries, asking for what you need, talk about how you feel
Stop feeling resentment- drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die
If you thinking you’re going to do what you’re meant and want to do, you can’t expect for everyone to be happy about it – Oprah
Shame can’t survive empathy. Instead of tackling shame, start building empathy. Shame is driven by unattainable expectations.
Reality checking skills help with shame resilience.
How to feel better, Play- time spent without purpose, lose track of time, no sense of what you’re supposed to be doing
Lots of love
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Mackenzie, I can’t thank you enough for this beautiful, thought provoking comment! It means so much! Beautiful words and great advice that I will definitely be taking on board! But where do I start? Ted Talk? Netflix show? Let me know gorge x
Mackenzie Thompson says
Start with the Ted Talk! It’ll give you a taste of what she’s all about will help you choose which topic to dive into next.
Reading this blog post was exactly what I needed and I thank you so much for that! I’m currently studying Fashion Art Direction in good old Manchester and I have been really struggling with believing that I’m good enough, so this came at just the right time. I think it’s hard as a creative to ignore negativity from others when our work is constantly being judged whether that be from teachers, friends, family and so on, but after reading your blog post and some wise words from my mum I’ve realised that the most important opinion is our own. So thank you again I feel beyond inspired!
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Catherine, you’re so so so right! And mammas wise words are so true, as long as we enjoy and believe in ourselves and what we’re doing that really is all that matters! Beautiful! x