A change of priorities is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.
It’s funny, you reach a certain point in your life or you add something to your world that makes you look at things a whole lot differently.
I’m 25, going on 26 in July, and I know thats not exactly old, and I certainly know that I have SO much more to learn, but I’ve recently had a little bit of a penny drop, light bulb moment that has seen a slight shift in my priorities and the way in which my brain now likes to operate.
At London fashion week (a couple of weeks ago) was where this really came to light.
I spent 4 days in London rushing around town feeling a little out of sorts and not 100% myself.
I was in a vibrant city, submerging myself in my passion at fashion week, a time that I usually adore and look forward to for that dose of inspiration and motivation.
There's nothing more inspiring for me than sitting (or standing) at a catwalk show and watching the latest and upcoming designs from some of my most favourite of designers. I've done the whole going to each and every single show I was invited to, running myself into the ground to ensure that I view as many shows as humanly possible across the week and I've learnt that, that just doesn't work for me.
In recent times, I've streamlined my schedule to ensure that the shows I attend are worth attending both for myself and for you. I want to view collections that truly resonate with me and make sense to my personal style. Shows that I want to shout about and share with you and shows I know that we will all take great inspiration from.
And, similarly to the past few seasons, this time around I did just that. I carefully selected a handful of shows to attend and headed down to London for the weekend.
However, this time was a little different.
This time around I have my own home here in Manchester, I am the proud mamma to two little dachshund’s named Peter and Nancy and this time I headed down to London alone.
Despite how daunting the whole fashion week thang is, I'm often pretty good at attending shows alone. I like my own company for the most part and I know how to pretend I'm confident when walking into a room of people that "know" each other. However, this time I felt vulnerable, I felt lonely and I felt anxious... Like seriously anxious. I found myself panicking before the shows about the prospect of heading in alone, a step in the wrong direction for my confidence, and I pined for home, for George and for my puppies.
There were a few internal "eye rolling" moments throughout the weekend in London that left me thinking, do I really want to be a part of this world in this way? Do I want to do this kind of thing again? Is this really for me?
And whilst, I'm now writing this from the comfort of my own home and my heart is screaming “YES, of course this is for you”, my head isn't so convinced.
My priorities have shifted a little, whilst 5 years ago 20 year old Megan was desperate to head to as many shows as possible and to be invited to all the fashion parties, I’ve learnt that not all of them are quite right for me. I’m not a party girl for one, I’m a bit of a nerd at heart and I just don’t fit in. I don’t have a posse of fashion babes by my side and I no longer want to stand in the middle of a crowded room and have my photograph taken by a stranger. I’ve done it, I’ve had my fun and now I’ve moved on and there’s nothing wrong in saying it.
It’s okay to have a shift in priorities, heck that just means you’re growing up! And whilst you may feel like you’re missing out, It’s okay to get FOMO from time to time, so long as you know that deep down you're exactly where you want to be and for me that is at home in Manchester in my slippers with a cup of tea and my family.
Thats not to say that I’m not eternally grateful for every single opportunity that comes my way, ‘cause of course I am absolutely grateful. And it doesn’t mean that I am never going to attend a fashion event again BUT the point is, is that changes are scary, we feel a shift and we panic.
We think we’re not doing what we’re supposed to be doing, we could be working harder, we should be enjoying everything that comes our way, when sometimes it’s all about the simple things in life.
SUNGLASSES- c/o KATE SPADE, COAT- c/o WEEKDAY, DRESS- ZARA, JEANS- c/o WEEKDAY, SOCKS- ASOS, TRAINERS- c/o SUPERGA, BAG- c/o THE KOOPLES
I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am, but I’m quite happy to pass on some opportunities that don't quite fit as well as others, for a simpler more quiet life, something I feel we’re brainwashed into thinking means we’re not doing well at life. Quiet doesn’t need to mean boring or unfulfilling, it doesn’t show that you’re any less hard working or any less deserving of special opportunities, it just means that things have changed, your list of priorities are different to others and as always, those differences are what makes you beautiful.
I feel that 2018 is the year or learnings for me, and it’s only bloody March! I love simplicity, I love uncomplicated and I love the life I’ve created for myself here in Manchester. In a world full of GO GO GO, FOMO and “I want more”, I’m going to find the perfect balance between fashion and the simple life, just watch this space.
Ooh Megan, I feel you so much!! I’ve been conflicted a lot about uni lately, so I think I know how you’re feeling (at least a bit ?). I’m a nerd and not a party girl myself (plus I have an anxiety disorder and I’m generally really awkward in social situations), so I’d say that, if you want to stay home more with George and the puppies, go for it! Pushing oneself outside of one’s comfort zone is good, but pushing too much is not heheh
A virtual hug if you’re okay with that ♡
(Also, the outfit is this post is one my faves from you, lately, the colours work so well together ?)
Megan Ellaby says
Thanks Anna, I’m so glad you can relate to the way I’m feeling!
A virtual hug right back atcha darling!
I’m so glad you like this look too, it’s so snuggly and warm! xo
You and your blog are such a breath of fresh air!! As a fellow Mancunian (exiled in London) I totally understand why you’d want the life you’ve chosen – hello, dream house/dog/city situation – and I’m full of admiration of you for truly going for what you want and sticking to your guns. You’ve refused to play the copycat game and that has totally worked in your favour. You’re an incredibly talented stylist (way more creative than most other bloggers/influencers) and I imagine you’ll continue to be super successful in whichever path you choose to follow. The beauty is, you’ll be doing it all on your own terms. Keep going, you’re doing a brilliant job. X
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Ash, thank you darling, that is so wonderful to hear! Exiled in London haha!
Your words really mean so much to me especially at a time when I’m full of self doubt, so thank you!
Loads of love Ash and thanks for being so lovely xo
Your blog is so inspiring. At the minute, I have no idea what I want to do in life but I do know that a fashion blog is something I’d love to pursue, I’m just too scared of what others think, which shouldn’t be the case!
Keep going at what you do because it’s brilliant x
Megan Ellaby says
BABE, it’s SO okay to not know what you want to do in life. Everything always works out in the end and it’s SOOOO the journey that is the fun part.
I would say you should totally go for it with the fashion blog! Forget everyone else and just do you! If it’s something you really want to do then absolutely go for it; better to regret something you did than regret something you didn’t! Go on girlie and good luck xo
This is so refreshing to read. I often wondered if I was ‘old before my time’
I’m also 25, also live in Manchester and also a puppy mum! I’m happily married, and moving out of the city centre to a house. I have a job I love.
Yet most of my close friends live in London, or are spending time abroad, and the amount of times I hear ‘you’re so old and boring, and married!’. But I also hear ‘Your life is so together, i’m so jealous!’
And I bloody love my life! Waking up (most) Saturday mornings hangover-free means I can take my dog, Baloo, on a nice country walk. Spending time with my little family. It’s all about the little things, for me anyway. It’s all about what feels right for you.
Megan Ellaby says
YES! I always ask the same question “am I old before my time” and the answer is, yes, I probably am. But I really don’t think it’s a bad thing and like you said, they’ll always be people who wish for certain aspects in others lives. We just need to do what makes us happy and that is it. Your Saturdays sound extremely similar to mine and I love it! The best days are hangover-free, with dogs and family <3
Also SO obsessed with your dogs name, BALOO! So cute, what kind of dog is he? x
Your honesty is appreaciated, I find you super-brave for speaking from your heart like this on the internet! you go girl! And I feel just the same; quiet, peaceful and my beloved ones(primarily my dog oops!) are the things that make me happy, and then that is the perfect way to spend your life in my opinion (and I’m “only” 22) <3
by the way, I noticed you mentioning your skin breaking out in your last video, and mine is too, and i suspect it might be the clinique moisture surge! it's probably not the only cause, but I started using it a couple of weeks after you recommended it and I really liked it at first, but then major break-out, yay! Just wanted to run the thought by you! : )
Megan Ellaby says
Ohh Synne, I’m so glad you enjoyed this post. It’s always a little scary to be this honest on my blog and to put my thoughts and feelings out into the world, but I’m so glad you appreciate it. Dogs are everything aren’t they! They truly brighten my day, every single day!
Ahh interesting, I’m sorry that it’s broken you out. But my skin has been troublesome for a while now so I don’t think it is that, but who the heck knows, I’m still desperately trying to work out what is the culprit.
Thanks babes xo
Loved this post – I can relate to this but in a completely different context! It’s nice to hear that someone else feels the same way.
Fatima x http://www.fatimawrites.co.uk
Megan Ellaby says
I’m so glad you can relate to this post in your own way Fatima, thats what it’s all about! Loads of love girlie xo
And yet again, I feel like applauding for the authenticity and honesty you put into your blog posts! It’s so important to stay true to yourself and find out what could be your own recipe for happiness and contentment, not following guidelines made by others. I think most of us are so overstimulated with articles and blog posts that offer recipes for success, happiness, personal development and other things we work on, that we forget that the real recipes can be found in ourselves. It’s great to keep an open mind and listen to others, but sometimes it’s perfectly OK to listen to yourself, and just do you.
Thanks for a great post, as always! x
Megan Ellaby says
Oh Annie, the way you write is SO beautiful! I’ve taken so much inspiration from this small comment, thank you so much!
Thanks for being oh so lovely, for inspiring me and for making me feel all warm inside!
Lots of love to you x
First of all, I really enjoy your style and your spirit!
And I’ve been going through the same phase at the moment. I’m finishing my masters and soon I’ll need to decide what I want to do next. Sometimes I feel like people expect me to choose a path, which I’m not sure is right for me. I don’t want to pursue a career which will make me feel uncomfortable and anxious. So I’m also working on my priorities 🙂
It’s very calming to hear that you’re going through something similar. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Cheers from Cologne,
Lois Hughes says
I can totally relate to this 100%, and can I just take the time to write on here how thankful I am for you, your blog & your creativity. Ever since I began following your blog a year or 2 ago and following your instagram and twitter, I’ve noticed a change in how I feel within myself. As a plus-sized girl I’ve always had an issue with how I look, and although I LOVE fashion, tended to stick to a boring t-shirt and jeans because I was scared of being judged for how I looked in a funky pair of trousers and a crop top. Now, thanks to your amazing style choices and bubbly personality, I’ve started to wonder, why should I care about how others think of me? I dress for ME. I’m now a proud owner of leopard print, colourful boots, patterned trousers, two-toned clothing and some fluffy coats. I love my wardrobe and take pride in what I wear. Thank you so much for being an inspiration and for being the lovely bundle of joy that you are.
Lots of love – Lois xo
Cool look 🙂 I really love your style
Can’t tell you how much this post has made me feel better. I’ve handled the same issue with far less maturity than you and I’m 42! Thank you for sharing, it’s given me exactly the lift I needed to move on x
What a wonderful and refreshing article Megan, I guarantee thousands of people (inc myself) feel the same way and we’ve almost be made to feel guilty for having these feelings and push ourselves to be people we’re not to please others or even just thinking its pleasing ourselves to play ‘keepy-uppy!’ Like yourself I’m a Manchester worker bee and devoted all my 20s to chasing the career path in fashion after uni – Ive loved every minute but learnt over the past year that I’m so happy being at home with my Irishman planning our next small house project…. (whats happened!?) Its left me a tad confused with how maternal I’m suddenly feeling (eek)… so thank you for this lovely read! Its nice to hear this out loud from a fellow mcr lady! …And maybe I’m not so crazy after all! 🙂
lots of love
PS: NEED those Zara boots!!
YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS – we grow and our priorities change, and what we wanted at 20 isn’t the same once we have other life commitments. I love having amazing opportunities, but sometimes I want a hot chocolate on the sofa and a good book on a Friday night (hashtag wild). It’s so easy to feel guilty but go you for knowing and sticking to what you love!
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