And whilst I don't think I'd go as far as saying I have a phobia of being late, I certainly have the fear!
I've always been someone who can be relied on to be on time. It's something my dad has always instilled in me and whilst as kids it would drive us mad always being the first guests at a party, now I feel I am well and truly my fathers daughter.
I have this irrational fear that I must be early to absolutely EVERYTHING, I couldn't possibly be late and being on time just isn't good enough for me.
It's a weird one as many people would see this as a good trait to have. I'm reliable, conscientious and I don't like letting people down or upsetting people so will always ensure that I am on time for them. However, sometimes it gets a little out of hand when I insist on leaving half an hour early to walk, what I know is just a 10 minute walk down the road to where our friends are hosting a birthday party. We'll then have no choice but to hang around in the cold outside as the bar isn't quite open and there are certainly no guests there as "fashionably late" is apparently a thing...
About a week or so ago was the absolute pinnacle of my being late anxiety, and is what urged me to write about it today.
I was due to be in London for a job at 10am. My train was booked and I was due to depart from Manchester Piccadilly at 7:15am.
After an early night and a sleep that was interrupted due to me incessantly checking my phone to ensure I hadn't over slept, my body decided to wake up at 7:15 on the nose. I'd missed my train, I was going to be late and I went into meltdown.
After frantically hopping out of bed and attempting to do something with my hair after sleeping with it wet (when will I learn?!?) I managed to board the 8am train meaning I would be around 45 minutes late for my appointment. By 8am I'd already cried 3 times and was struggling to slow down my heart beat whilst attempting to slap on some make up in the Virgin Trains toilet... Oh the glamour.
When I arrived in London everyone was SO understanding and it really wasn't the end of the world as I thought it to be, but my goodness I could not shake the panic for the entire day.
It's human nature to be late from time to time, but it's just not something I'm very good at. When I fear I'm going to be late or God forbid am actually late, I feel like the white rabbit from Alice In Wonderland with his "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date" chant going round and round in my mind.
It's a weird old thing, not something I'm genuinely concerned about, but something I thought you guys might find interesting. It's odd and something I don't really know how to articulate as it sounds totally ridiculous, but as this little slice of internet has always acted as my diary, I thought I'd mention it today just in case any of you have similar issues, whether you know how to reign it in or if not, then please teach me how to calm the fook down!
JACKET, TOP, DRESS & SHOES- c/o TOPSHOP, BAG- SAINT LAURENT c/o NET-A-PORTER, PALM SIGNET RING- SKINNY DIP, EYE RING- JULY CHILD JEWELLERY
Anyhoo, weird phobia's aside, lets get on with the outfit, which just so happens to be one of my go-to's if I am ever running late/don't have as much time to get ready in a morning.
You might remember this look from my recent stint at London Fashion Week. I wore this on Sunday for the Topshop show after they kindly invited me into store to select an outfit for the show... Hello dream come true!
As soon as I slipped into the Prince of Wales Check pinafore I knew this look was the one.
However, I was a little concerned with how familiar it felt to me. Mini dresses layered over high neck tops, creating a somewhat sixties aesthetic has always been a little safety blanket for me; Something I know I look and feel great in. However, even knowing I felt great in it, I didn't walk out of the door with it straight away through fear of it being too obvious a choice.
I'm always wittering on about shaking up your personal style and escaping styling comfort zones once and for all (read this post here) however, sometimes it's nice to know that you can rely on a few styling saviours to make you feel great, especially if you're running a little behind schedule.
It's the little updates to the styling saviours, the small things, that make a look what it is.
The millennial pink shade running throughout the dress and of course with the high neck top give the failsafe look a modern update that is perfect for AW17, whilst the red slip on loafers offer the perfect contrast to the look whilst also being perfectly on trend having seen red footwear across all catwalks this season.
Stacked rings and a cross body bag make it a oh-so totally "Megan Ellaby" styled look but hey, thats okay.
So with that absolute brain fart of a post I will bid you farewell.
It's currently Sunday night, I'm home alone and nursing a hangover (when will I ever learn?) so I think I just needed to word vom at you all and hope it makes some kind of sense.
Let me know what you think about this look and whether you have any style saviours yourself? Also please do let me know your thoughts on the whole Allegrophobia nonsense, it's always good to chat it through.
x M
AAAA !! Finally I am not alone in this !! I experience it daily and it is not nice at all but I am trying to deal with it , have I managed yet… nope not all. But its so nice to know that I am not the only one who suffers from it. Hopefully one day , we will be able too. 🙂 🙂
Btw, your blog is AMAZING 🙂
xxxxxxx
You’re most certainly not alone in this babes! I’m SO glad too to hear that other people have this irrational fear too. We’ll get over it one day, we just need to relax more. The feedback I’ve had from this is that people just don’t care/let you off from it anyway so it’s silly of us. But hey, at least people can rely on us 🙂
Lots of love and thank you for reading and taking the time out to comment x
pink + red = yes and I do not care what anyone says – killin’ it!
HAHA YES! Such an ace colour combination! Thanks boo x
As I always struggle to sleep when I know I have something important the next day, this kind of things often happens to me, and with the experience, I’ve learned that stressing out about it doesn’t help (even though this is what my mind automatically does as well), so I always tell myself that it is done and there is nothing I can do about it except for apologising, oh and also for the next time: try to not let an early awakening stressing me out in the evening so I can actually sleep, but then again, I’m still learning…
PS: always love a good red/pink combination.
http://fannyanddailybeauty.com
Ahh Fanny that is GREAT advice, it is so silly to stress over what has already been done, so I will deffo take that on board next time I’m running a little behind…
Thank you for sharing this with us 🙂 It really means so much x
I can relate sooo bad and now I finally know the name for it! I am always early everywhere and whenever I have to be late because of public transport, I try to play it cool but it eats me inside. And I cannot stand people who are late. // I ordered that Topshop dress but it didn’t look too flattering on my chest area so I decided to send it back. I opted for sth more in my comfort zone – a longer floral dress. It’s my to go option and I know I rock florals.
Ahhh Diana I hear ya! Being late because of public transport is THE WORST ever! Especially if you were originally running on time.
I’m also a little inpatient with people who are always late so I think that makes it worse whenever I’m running behind.
Ahhhh yes, I do think this dress was designed for us flat chested babes tbh, so I can totally imagine. Ahhh a long floral dress, I wish I could rock florals the way you can! x
i actually have a weird fear of being early. i am not sure exactly where it comes from (although when i was a kid my mother could be caught vaacuming when we should have already left for church). we wouldn’t be the best match for a meeting, but i understand the unusual anxiety that this causes. also, i’m very into this outfit. sometimes we shouldn’t fight what works!
Oh wow that is so interesting to me and hilarious about your mum vacuuming!
Thats so much for commenting babe, it means a lot and you’re so right with not fighting something that works. If it aint broke dont fix it! x
Gosh I love this look on you and the pink and red make a great combination. So 60’s, signature M.E..
You know I think it is good manners and respectful of others to be on time. Your Dad taught you well. Like you, I do aim to be always be punctual and that’s a good reliable quality. I set my phone alarm twice, five minutes apart, just in case. On the rare occasion that I’m late, I can get uncomfortable too. Especially when I’m caught in heavy traffic and have no choice in the situation. ?Deb
Oh Deb thank you so much! Means a lot that you like my look!
Thank you for understanding my weird fear and for being so lovely about it 🙂 You’re always so kind Deb, it means a lot.
I’m the same when it comes to phone alarms, I have about 5 set for important meetings, although the time I’m referring to it was just the one… Thats deffo where I went wrong! x
In this regard I’m like George: pretty laid back about being late. Having said that, I’m usually the first one to arrive when I have a meeting. The other day I had an appointment with a client and she turned out 20 minutes late. Same thing happened during a work meeting with several other people a few weeks ago.
Thing is, I live in Spain and here being late is not really frowned upon. I don’t know about England, but from my experience in London I would guess that punctuality is more important in English culture than it is in mine.
One piece of advice I could give to you is to realize that, in most cases, people just don’t care. It might sound cold, but in reality people are just concerned about their own thing and will forget that you were late the moment after you arrive. Or, as in your case, will be really understanding and just let it go. We’re only human, no one expects perfection from another. We all know shit happens.
Sorry if I ranted a bit. Lots of love XXXXX Aitana
INTERESTING!
Perhaps it is a British culture thing, although I know SO many people who are really chill about being late, so maybe it’s just an Ellaby culture thing haha!
Really appreciate your comment here babe, you’re SO right that people forget as soon as you arrive, that is a good thing to always remember whenever I’m freaking out!
Thankks gorge x
I can relate so bad ; I could have literally written this !
It’s funny because when I was younger, my family and I used to be late. I remember us leaving the house at the time we were expected… It completely changed the day I had to start using public transport everyday to go to school when I was 15. And from now on, I just can’t help but think “What if my bus/train/metro is late or canceled ?”. (I’m French and as you can see it’s not a British thing haha)
It’s still hard for me to not leave way too early to be sure to be on time but I’m getting better at letting go when I’m late, especially when I’m seeing friends. I have realised that because we’re reliable persons, people tend to accept our apologies and forget sooo easily. No one is perfect and it can happen to everyone to be late. So yeah, let go, be kind with yourself : you’re not gonna turn into a bad person because you’re late once ❤️
Love the dress ❤️ (Oh and thanks : because of you -and your Instastory- I discovered Alvvays and just can’t stop listening to In Undertow)
Oh you beauty! “Let go, be kind with yourself” what beautiful words to live by!
Thank you so much for letting me know I’m not alone, and for the advice, it means a lot that you’ve taken the time to read and to comment.
I’m also bloody THRILLED that you discovered Alvvays through my Instagram, WHAT.A.BAND!
When I was in school I couldn’t care about being late, but since leaving I have to be early or I’ll also freak the eff out! My job is only a 5 minute drive away, probably 4, and I leave 30 minutes before I start work because you never know? I might not be able to find a park, there could be a car crash on my way, but I’m not risking it hahahaha!!! Xx
https://ainsleylouise.com/
I am so with you on the “what ifs” when ensuring you get somewhere on time, it’s a constant battle in my mind too. I do think it’s a great and reliable trait to have but my goodness do I annoy myself with it sometimes x
I get absolutely tortured by my friends for my obsession with being on time and setting times for things, so you’re not the only one at all! I quite often get to work around 40 minutes early just to be sure I’m not late but I’m sure that’s more a reflection of TfL’s reliability than anything of my personality haha. Good time keeping is a great trait to have if you ask me, and god help my mates that ever keep me waiting in the pub on my own hahah x
I’m with you on the good time keeping being a great trait to have, I totally agree with you there. Similarly with being left waiting along in the pub HAHA x
I am the exact same! I’m a total punctual polly and hate the idea of even being 00:01 seconds late to something! Xxx
No way! Ahhhh I didn’t know that Holly, glad to hear I’m not the only one though x
Aw gosh, if this post isn’t the story of my life, then I don’t know what is! I’m exactly the same, I always have to be early. Even the twenty minute walk to work, you better believe I’ll leave an hour early and it’s like I have no idea why I do this, despite knowing worst case scenario, it’ll take an extra ten minutes. Even waking up- I know how long I take to get ready and all of that, but I still find myself waking a minimum of an hour earlier. It’s so ridiculous but it’s like, I’d rather be that ridiculous than be late haha! Aw and it’s even more stressful when I’m leaving with someone who doesn’t share my sense of urgency- I’ve been known to leave without them and jut meet them there because I can’t be late ffs hahah! Also, I looove this outfit, proper Elle Woods vibes, it’s excellent.
https://paigeunread.com
OMG everything you described I am like HELL YEAH!
Leaving without them haha, I’m with you on that one! It’s an annoying habit but deep down I do think it’s a good one to have.
Thanks boo x
Goodness, I didn’t know fear of being late had an actual ‘phobia’ name! I certainly have the fear of being late too. I’m always VERY early for everything. The worst is getting trains, I’m always so early and I detest waiting and hanging about, why do I do it to myself.
I recall waking up late for work one morning years ago and like you flew into a panic. I ended up calling in sick rather than facing being late! I have actually never done it since. I do have ridiculous OCD with checking my phone to ensure the alarm is on the correct time. Plus these days I have a better alarm clock than my phone, my cat Meg, she will certainly let you know about it if you are late for her breakfast! hehe.
If you do find the trick to chilling the fook out, do let us all know… I’ve tried to reverse it and think, how would I feel if my friends etc were late? Well actually that is up there in my top ten pet peeves, friends who leave you hanging about for an eternity waiting for them… this probably explains why I don’t have the capacity to do it to them… but turns out it’s just me that worries about it…
just catching up on all the posts! I LOVE THIS MEGAN!! not usually a pink girl but i am converted I tells ya!
Laura | roseandweston.blogspot.co.uk
Thanks gorgeous gal x
YAAAS these photos by Michaela are INCRED!!!! And I didn’t know there was a name for that panicky feeling, I’ve had it since I was 7 and even if I was meeting my worst enemy I’d still be scared about being late, it’s my worst thing to deal with and I’m glad there are others who understand it!
Lauren x
Britton Loves | Cruelty-Free/Vegan Beauty • Lifestyle • Photography
She’s so bloody good isn’t she!
Oh really!? No way! I’m so glad I’m not the only one, I am 100% with you on the whole being scared of being late even for your enemy, LOL thats hilarious! What are we like ey? x
I am the same way and I’ve actually just heard it’s a thing “time anxiety” – Women’s health also just did an article on it: https://apple.news/AiWIOJuHqRr6ULbNBwtRA6g
Sadly, I am happy I am not alone in this. It drives my husband mad…but we’re all works in progress.