Summer has pretty much left us, lets be real here ey?
And on that rather depressing opener I bring to you one of the last posts of summer, however a post focused around my voyage to self confidence... OoOoOoOo
I wrote a blog post earlier this year about my issues with self confidence of which the response completely and UTTERLY blew me away. You guys were oh so kind in letting me know that I wasn’t the only one with self confidence issues, in offering advice and reassuring me that sometimes self confidence comes in time and with age. It was one of the most rewarding blog posts I have ever written and I’ve wanted to do a follow up for some time, using some of the tips and tricks that you guys gave to me and in addition, a post to cover other, confidence (or lack thereof) related issues when it comes to my body.
Shall we...
First off, I am SO relieved to hear that self confidence comes with age, now that really is reassuring. This is something I've noticed first hand of late, due to the fact that I’ve been introduced to many amazing ladies via the medium of Instagram, who just so happen to be nailing the shit out of life and who just so happen to be over a certain age. The confidence they have in themselves, their families and their careers, along with the ease in which they speak to their audience and not to mention their complete and utter sass, is something I can only dream about but do not doubt that I will have myself one day (PLEASE LORD!!)
Secondly I’ve learnt that practice makes perfect when it comes to the things that freak us out the most. I had so many wonderful comments from ladies in the same boat as me when it comes to self confidence, and in-particular with crowds of people, some of which explained that the only way to deal with it was to do it as often as possible.
So I took your tips on board and I booked myself onto a public speaking course… It was awful, I didn’t like it and cried after it (LOL), however, I was invited to sit on TWO fashion panels at a recent fashion event and did it and did it bloody well indeed. I was talking about my passion, my special subject and I was comfortable and confident (once I'd warmed up and had stopped freaking out). I was really proud of myself that day for tackling my fear of public speaking and I can definitely say that confronting your fears head on is a failsafe way to combat them once and for all, even if I was cheating with my specialist subject…
And finally, self confidence wise, we have “Don’t fake it, fix it” something that resonated with me from one of your comments and something I'm going to try and explain further throughout this post.
I was walking through Manchester alone today and it occurred to me that I didn’t look at a single face. This is something I always chuckle to myself about as I do it, unknowingly, ALL THE TIME! It was a coping mechanism put into place by my momma, as between the age of 12-16 I used to stare at my feet and the floor whenever I was in public, my self confidence was rock bottom and I was afraid.
She taught me to look ahead and only ahead. To not look at anyones face, to just look ahead, and it worked like a charm.
It’s still something I do now when I’m in a crowd of people and whilst it helps A LOT, I’d love to be able to look each and every person that I pass (without looking like a complete weirdo) in the eyes, that’ll be when I know I’ve nailed this whole confidence thing for good.
The same wonderful lady who commented “don’t fake it, fix it” also said “I’m struggling with self-confidence every day too and I started looking at it logically – what are the things I don’t feel good about and which of those things can I change for the better? If I can pick myself apart, I can put myself back together and be stronger for it, right?” How bloody wonderful is that!? I love the idea of putting yourself back together again, it certainly hit a nerve with me.
So with that, here is me and all of me. I’m baring all.
Me and my *huge* forehead that I was bullied about at school, the stretch marks at the top of my thighs, my wonky toes and ridiculously short torso. Here’s me and my sticky-out ribs, which I hate and which got me featured on Radio X's “Humble Brag” after I stated how “I may be more ribs than rack” over on Instagram… Not something I was bragging about humbly ONE BIT, but hey, I now have a pretty epic claim to fame thanks to those who like to see the worst in me.
Here’s me and my petite frame; the same frame that was heckled at for being too skinny whilst working as a Saturday girl at a plus size clothing store when I was 16, “why are you working here, you’re too skinny to work here” SORRY WHAT!?
I’m telling you all of this, ‘cause I was beginning to pick myself apart for those reasons; sometimes taking photos of yourself as a HUGE part of your job can be exactly why you lack confidence, which people often don't understand. But I knew that after reading the comment above, that I could fix it and I could put myself back together again.
I swiftly signed up to the gym, purely to tone up a little bit and finally get my fitness back on track (I’ve not exercised full time since I was 16…9 years ago!!!) and even then, after my first ever personal training session where I tweeted “First PT session done… I vommed, excellent” I was greeted by a tweet that said “Please don’t become one of THOSE gym people”… Can we ever win!?
SO, after that awfully long winded and hopefully somewhat eloquent waffle about my issues with body confidence, I hope it allows you to realise that we ALL have issues with confidence in someways, often with the way in which we look. Even those of us who take photographs of ourselves as a part of our job, we still don't always like what we see looking back at us. We're all human and we all have our down days/weeks/months but the power to change things is in our own hands, lets not fake it, lets bloody well fix it.
Although a world where no judgements were made based upon physical appearances would be a beautiful one, that will never, ever be the case, so we might as well embrace what we've got and damn well flaunt it. We’re all ace in our own way and there isn’t just one kind of beautiful. Personally I believe that the most beautiful thing you can be is confident. And that’s why I’m sharing this today, I’m trying to find my confidence one step at a time starting with the one thing that is easy to fix and one of the only things where the power is in my hands. Wish me luck!
x M
Oh Megan, this post is just what I needed to read today. I’m having the WORST confidence issues at the moment, and considering everything I do in life involves me posing and looking like some self-obsessed crazy ginger lady (my Instagram does not help with that situation haha), it can be so hard to express that without people commenting ‘but you’re a model, you’re not allowed to feel like that!’ Or ‘but read all of those comments!’ – Just because other people think I’m something or look a certain way doesn’t mean I have to agree.
I love that idea of putting myself back together too – I’m forever just picking myself apart and leaving myself like that.
I try incredibly hard to like myself and to work on myself and I do hope one day, (maybe with age, like you say), I will learn to love myself fully and accept everything from my stretch marks and wobbly thighs, to my goofy laugh and boyish voice.
Here’s hoping!
Another amazing post from you! (Also these photos are truly beautiful)
These are my most favourite photographs of you! They’re beyond beautiful! Despite your issues, you appear to ooze with confidence and although it isn’t nice to battle issues with self confidence, I hope it’s nice to hear that you’re someone’s style icon and role model for confidence and loving yourself! Keep smiling and believe in yourself!xxxx
Megan you look absolutely beautiful in these pictures! A really inspiring blog post.
P.s I am also part of the sticky-out rib crew! We can’t change them so we will just have to embrace them 🙂
x
Firstly, these photos are absolutely stunning! Secondly, thank you so much for writing this post. I’m going through some body confidence issues and I’ve decided that I’ve got to fix it once and for all. I’m going to join a gym – I haven’t previously because I didn’t want to become one of those “gym people” either and I hate running. But swimming and yoga just doesn’t seem to cut it so having picked myself apart I need to put myself back together. Here’s to sorting out my wobbly stomach and toning my arms. I still need help with the bags under my eyes though, any advice? Loved this post hun. X
http://www.fashionetmoi.com
Megan, thank you so much for sharing this with us all.
Reading this really hit a nerve and I sobbed, I have always suffered with self confidence, physically and mentally and I know how easy it is to punish yourself and your body for what you believe are flaws. I cannot thank you enough for writing this, it’s not often things like this are spoken about and I admire your strength in doing so. I battle every day with myself and sometimes my flaws get the better of me but I remember that this journey of self conidence is ongoing and that I can do this!
You have given not only your readers a voice but yourself too and you should be truly proud of how you’ve developed your own form of strength and shown the resilience you have.
I have always admired your style and think you are proper mint and please remember that you are strong and beautiful.
Thanks for sharing your self confidence journey, we’re all here sharing the same journey with you and remember there’s nothing wrong with a little self love x
This is such a truly beautiful post Megan.
The images are stunning and probably my favourite to date and it is reassuring to know a successful blogger such as yourself also suffers with confidence issues as you would naturally assume they wouldn’t.
I have followed you since the beginning and had the pleasure of meeting you when studied in Huddersfield as I worked at the New Look store on the shoe department and was envying your incredible blue boots you had on- you were lovely and so down to earth and so naturally pretty you have been one of my idols to this day. Carry on being you cos you’re bloody wonderful, I wish you every happiness and success in life and your confidence challenge! Thank you for this post, it’s helped me with mt issues that’s for sure 🙂
Reading this was seriously beautiful.
You’ve written about this so honestly and openly, it’s refreshing. The job you’re in can cause knock backs but you’re ready to take on the steps you need to get to where you want to be and that’s envious.
But, with that said Megan, you are honestly one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen ?
Keep striding lovely! ❤️
Gorgeous pics Megan. Of course everyone battles confidence issues but go you for trying to change what you can. Just because you put yourself out there for your job DOESNT mean people have the right to comment mean things on your photos, videos or whatever else. And I bet you read all the comments and only remember the bad one or two and worry about it all night. I would do exactly the same but remember, those people are morons.
Keep going. Keep inspiring. Keep being sassy AF. I for one look forward to your videos and blog posts each week and love following your life and journey. Sending you positive vibes X
What a brave post! I’m too scared to point out my flaws incase it makes them more obvious to people but I have a huge forehead too. Fringes 4 life!
I can’t understand people who feel compelled to make negative comments!
xxx
Ah Megan! Gorgeous well written post. It’s true we all have our own issues – I’ve got sticky out ribs and stick thin legs! Working in the industry where a LOT of people have body issues and having to practically run a therapy session rather than a personal styling one I’ve learnt that actually we are TEN times harder on ourselves! And most of the time people aren’t even looking… and if they are let them! I always say to my clients that we would never be so harsh on a friend so why do we do it to ourselves? Beautiful, beautiful photos xx
Oh wow, it’s so so interesting to hear how many of us lack self confidence, WOWSER, it’s barmy and so sad. Thanks for your gorgeous comment Isobel, I adore the like “we would never be so harsh on a friend so why do we do it to ourselves?” DEFFO something to remember x
You’ve got balls, babe! feel exactly the same about crowds n stuff and I’m trying to put more effort into my fashion but sometimes I just don’t feel worthy, I’m really trying to work on it though! So lovely to see you put this out. have so much respect for it!!! You do you hun xxxxxx
You ARE worthy babe! YOU ARE YOU ARE YOU ARE! Please remember that! You can be anything you want to be and you sure as hell can wear what you want.
I am not a confident person, however, when I’m wearing a wacky, colourful, bold and on trend look I feel like I can take on the world. Try it babe, it might help? xxoxoxo
What a beautiful and honest (as always) post! This is so relatable and it’s great to hear someone speak so honestly and to know you’re not the only one thinking these things. Also – you look bloody amazing!x
Ohhh Sophie, thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post xo
UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL photography and those portrait shots are insane! You are someone I look up to so much and I find it so hard to believe you feel the way you do about certain parts of your body because through my eyes I see none of things, we all have insecurities and one thing I admire so much about you is that it doesn’t stop you from wearing what you want to wear.
You’ll get there, keep going and keep doing you Megs because theres no-one better xx <3
Natasha! Thank you so much! Your comment means the world.
It’s styling that actually keeps me afloat, I think if I wasn’t able to style myself the way I do I’d be a quivering wreck haha! I’ll get there one day, but please know that your comments get me there that little bit faster 🙂 It means so much x
I love this posts, the photos are gorgeous and I think something that is kind of stuck with me is the “Don’t fake it, fix it” because it’s so true, sometimes we just have to push a little and stay out of our comfort zone to make really good things happen.
I’m so glad you agree babe x
Thank you Megan <3 having the bluest of thursdays and skipping class, feeling just awful, you made my day better.
Oh babes, is everything okay? I hope you’re feeling better and I’m really glad my post provided a little sunshine in your day x
Thank you Megan for such a real and honest post. It’s good to know the people we look to are human, and it’s exactly why we look to you – every single one of us has our own unique hang-ups, and how crazy is that?! If we all looked the same, then what would we see to be beautiful? There is nothing to be changed about ourselves other than the way we love ourselves. Be true to you, fake it until you feel it and keep your damn head up.
You’re beautiful and inspiring; know that on days you don’t love yourself, there’s a whole lot of love in the world for you.
J x
Jordana, wow your comment is so beautiful! It has everything I wish and want to say to the world! GO ON GIRL!
Thank you so much for the love, it means so much! x
Confidence is also something I struggle with. I doubt myself way too much and find it hard to speak up. Thank you for writing about this. My mom told me the other day one way to look confident is to stand up/sit up tall, so I’m going to do that more now since I tend to slouch. Haha. You always look amazing, Megan! You’re an inspiration and I always look forward to seeing your posts whether on your blog, on Youtube or Instagram. 🙂
YES! My mum always used to tell me to stand tall and walk straight, at the time it was hard but now every time I catch my reflection in a mirror I’m walking so tall and it’s all because of her 🙂 aren’t mums great!
Thank you so much Izzy for taking the time out to leave a comment, it really means a lot x
This is my first visit on your blog. And this post is so honest and lovely and I can just say that I think we all have these self-confident issues.
I often struggle when I am at school and there are so many “cool” dressed people and even if I think my place in this world is the fashion industry and even if people say ; “Oh you have a great style. ”
I don’t feel that way most of the time.
And if I look at all the other girls with great hair, much taller than me, with longer legs and a much smaller forehead than me ( I have that forehead struggle too) then I completely loose my self-confidence. And I think why I am thinking I could have a place in the fashion world, if there are so much cooler women than me.
But then I remind myself that becoming a fashion-designer is my dream since I am eight years old, and dreams are there to come true.
I’m sorry for my bad englisch but I hope you get a chance to read this, it would mean very much to me. Because that post made me happy, it showed me that even you have these struggles and you have such a great style and you’re beautiful.
I think think this is my first comment on a blogpost ever…;)
greetings from switzerland
Lille, thank you so much for visiting my blog and for letting my post be the first post you’ve ever commented on WOOHOO!
Like me, you’ve wanted to be in the fashion designer since you were a little girl so do not let anyone make you feel like you won’t get there. , Despite not always having the confidence in yourself, Ii’s your dream and you will get there girlie!
Me and you, with our big foreheads gotta stick together 🙂 And I’m SO excited to hopefully be wearing your pieces one day 😉 x
Ahhh yes babe, this post was amazing!!! I have to say I feel so self conscious looking at these girls on instagram with a “perfect” life, body, skin, face, everything and I’m just like wait a minute, why should I feel bad because someone else looks amazing? I sure as hell can’t afford facials every few weeks or go on expensive holidays but half of the things I see online aren’t real and I always forget that!! It’s always people like you who bring it back to planet normal, like yeah you get amazing sponsorships which you so deserve but you’re %110 normal and not fake about the things you do. Idk where this whole comment has gone but thank you for being honest and real, you’re someone I really look up to so thank you.
ALSO, these photos ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!! XX
https://ainsleylouise.com/
Ainsley, honestly, you have no idea how much what you said means to me! Bringing things down to planet normal… LOVE IT! Thank you girlie. Please always remember that not everything you see on social media is as it is and just do you beautiful x
It’s always hard to hear about confidence issues from someone you admire so much. No one can tell you that you’re gorgeous and most people would kill to look like you. It doesn’t resonate when you are faced with something you hate about yourself. I can tell you at 45 that self confidence does come with age but not without work. In my early 30’s I decided that I was sick and tired of all the negative and harsh things I said to myself. So I started a concerted effort to change that “tape” in my head. Every time I started to think something awful I would stop and say something lovely. It took many months but eventually it worked. I hardly ever think crappy things about myself any more. It was life changing. I thought why am I so kind and forgiving to other people yet so mean and awful to myself? It’s crazy but so many of us are like that. I hope you start being as kind to yourself as you are to others. I of course think you are kick ass and I admire you immensely. XOXO
HEATHER! Your comment means the absolute world and you’re SO right! Why are we so hard on ourselves!? It makes no sense! I absolutely ADORE what you said about giving yourself a compliment whenever a mean comment springs to mind, thats such a great way to achieve self confidence, I love it! Thank you SO much for taking the time to comment, it truly means a lot! And I’m SO going to start implementing that lil trick, GENIUS! x
So good, Megan! Thanks for being vulnerable. We all struggle with different body issues and the media sure doesn’t help matters. I think it’s going to take more girls speaking out about their insecurities and their love and acceptance of their imperfections before anything will change. Oh, and we also need to stop comparing and putting each other down and start being encouragers. This is an amazing start!
I hear you Tabitha, I think it’s so important for girls to speak out, I’m really glad you appreciate me doing so. It’s a hard thing to talk about so openly but the more we do it the more “perfect” becomes less of a thing to strive for. x
Hi Megan,
Thank you so much for this super lovely post. It’s so beautifully written!! And thanks for the advice of looking ahead in a crowd of people, as well as the measure of having eye contact.
Xx finja – http://www.effcaa.com
I’m really glad you enjoyed the post babes, it means a lot x
I am a total freak about my nose, but, it’s all in the angles bbz haha. I think you look bloody banging here mate. Love the new blog BTW xx
We’re so daft arent we! Thanks gorgeous gal x
Favvvvv post!
The b&w photos are ?
You’re sooo cute in that one Megan x
Thank you so much babe x
Really needed this, I’ve slacked so bad on the exercise and feel a bit blah about my body – I feel pudgy and squishy and that’s made me stop dressing myself nicely, reflecting how sad I feel about my body. Thank you for your inspiring words!
Lauren x
Britton Loves | Cruelty-Free/Vegan Beauty • Lifestyle • Photography
Good luck honey, I’m sure you’ll manage. You are right though we can never win, you’ll always be too thin, too fat, too confident, too quiet for someone. Just make yourself happy and go with it!
Lauren
livinginaboxx
Absolutely LOVE that! Words to live by for sure! Thank you babe x
Apart from your beautiful writing, can i just say how absolutely breathtaking those photographs are? I mean you and Sophie are a dream team!! I love how natural they are and soso beautiful.
Ohhhh wow thank you so much babe, means the world x
Such a positive article and helpful for people who are suffering from these body image issues. Body positivity is very hard to gain but people like you really help.