A NOTE TO SELF: ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND PHOTOGRAPHS

Hey everyone, I hope you're all really well.

Apologies for being MIA this week, I'm currently in NYC for a week of intense shopping and having a jolly old time and me being me, didn't really work on much to schedule. Except this post. 
This is a post written to myself as a reminder, a note to self to TAKE MORE PHOTOGRAPHS.

It's ridiculous isn't it, that a huge part of my life, my job and my career is to take photographs, to document memories and to share them, yet I truly feel that throughout 2016 this was neglected. 
Photography has always been a huge passion of mine. I studied it at A Level and left with an A* which was a very proud moment of mine indeed. So when I found myself falling into a career of blogging, the fact I could incorporate photography into my every day felt like a dream come true. 

And it was for some time!
Three years of time to be exact. I shot every single day, snapping my day-to-day and sharing them whenever I could on whatever I could, I was the epitome of the over-sharer. I had fun with my photography, challenging myself every day and teaching others along the way. Whether that be boyfriends, my family and friends, I'd teach them how to use my camera so they could lend a hand when I needed them and I simply loved it. 

I loved snapping my outfit on a daily basis to share on my blog. I loved documenting holidays, even if it was just for that of Facebook; but even if it was Facebook only that saw my snaps, it still gave me a great deal of pride to have successfully photographed, documented and shared my moments with others. 

And then something changed.
I started working with the most wonderful photographer, Sophie, as I'm sure you're all well clued up on now thanks to the incredible imagery she creates for PBM and of course her hilarious moments on my Snapchat and in my vlogs. 
Sophie completely changed the entire vibe of PBM and together we created something that I was completely proud of. I stopped posting every day and decided upon high quality imagery two times a week. I sold my DSLR as I was working with a photographer now and "I just don't need it" and opted for a much handier shoot and go in the form of the incredible Olympus Pen EPL7 and with that, I neglected my passion.

I've just read that first paragraph back and I know it sounds dramatic, but that really is exactly how it went. My game was upped by that of a talented professional photographer and therefore lost the confidence in my own abilities and threw in the towel. 
Rather than challenging myself and learning from Sophie, I became complacent. I relied on Sophie due to her sheer talent and abandoned my passion and my own skill set in a pursuit of perfection. 

I'm not one to compare myself to others. It's not something I do all that much, particular style wise, beauty wise or anything materialistic like that. However, confidence in my abilities isn't always something I'm great at, something I promise to cover at a later date. I lost all confidence in my abilities to create great photographs, which in hindsight is totally ridiculous considering it's something I love to do and I know deep down I am great at. I looked at other websites and other bloggers and what I was creating on my own wasn't up to their standards so I asked for help. Help is what I got, and I will always be grateful to Sophie and will continue to work with her on a fortnightly basis but from now on I will let go of my photography insecurities, I will snap again and in turn share again... And trust me, I intend to share A LOT!

I've bought two new cameras in the past few months, which again I will share with you as soon as I get to grips with them, and I intend to become snap-happy once again. However, this time I'm going to learn about my camera, I'm going to attend photography classes and I'm going to soak up all the information that Sophie and other bloggers throw at me. 

Taking more photographs was a New Years Resolution of mine (watch the video here), something I've been thinking about for a few months now and since purchasing these cameras I intend to BOSS!
Coincidentally I spent today tidying up my hard-drives and organising them ready for the rest of the year and stumbled upon folder after folder of un-used photographs. Shots that I look back on and think they're pretty damn epic and shots where I ask myself why I never shared them in the first place. 
Now it's too late to go back and share them all now, but it was the kick up the bum I needed to set the ball rolling, to write this post and to ensure that I find my passion once again. 

So whilst not a single one of you may be interested in the ramblings I've just made, this is more a post for me, to remind myself that a passion is a passion regardless if you're as good as the next blogger and regardless if sometimes you need a little help, you should always run with your passions and never, ever give them up. 

Get ready for Megan The Oversharer once again, she's on her way.

x M