Hi all, I hope you're doing really well and your week has been as nice as possible considering how bleak things are right now. It's all still so strange this lockdown lark isn't it. I still have days when I'm up and days when I'm down, I guess that's simply part of being human, regardless of a global pandemic. However, I wanted to chat a little bit about some things that have been on my mind for a wee while now. Essentially getting a couple of things off my chest, if you'll divulge me?
Before this all began I remember sitting in my garden with my lovely mamma and sister and saying how if lockdown hits, I will blog every day, I was going to clear out my cupboards, clean my skirting boards and be really super productive. And then the lockdown hit...
And whilst I feel I’ve been productive and I’ve kept myself busy most days; I’ve written, I’ve designed, I’ve read, cleaned, exercised, eaten and drank (a lot) I haven’t done as much as I hoped I would and you know what, that’s okay!!
I had all the best intentions and I have achieved a lot, even if that means simply enjoying quality time with George, doing a bit of home decor, focusing on the future of my businesses and just simply being (!!!) but I haven’t done as much as I set out to do, but that’s alright by me and I shouldn’t and you should’t have to justify that.
Lockdown has been and will continue to be tough for everyone, it’s been absolutely horrific for some and quite the welcome relief for others I am sure. It’s been different and that’s what we need to remember, this is uncharted waters for everyone and everyone deals with it in very different ways.
Emma Gannon summed it up beautifully when she said “We're either shaming people for not being productive during this or being *too* productive, how about we just let people cope however they need to” something that I needed to read when I read it and found myself chanting "PREACH IT SISTER" and it has stuck with me everyday since.
A week or two into lockdown I was thrown off kilter a little bit by reading how people with “false positivity” were affecting others. I put myself into that bracket (albeit not exactly “false” positivity, just plain ole, joyful positivity) as I was trying to see the best of the situation. Trying to create to fill those boring voids that I knew so many of us would have. Filling them with content a plenty, with videos, stories, Instagram imagery and blog posts and then I saw a few people discus this “false positivity” and how it affected them as they were struggling and it made me feel really quite bad.
Yet since I’ve slowed down a little, not wanting to upset anyone, I’ve read other comments where people feel us content creators are not doing enough with our time. That we’re lazy, not giving enough when people are so bored. It’s that old friend of mine named imposter syndrome kicking in once again, letting other peoples opinions get the better of me, which sends me into a swirling vortex of self doubt not knowing which way is best.
This confusion has a lot to do with the lack of creative mojo I’ve been having lately. That, combined with being a self confessed people pleaser doesn’t really do much for my creativity nor my poor little head and for that reason I am writing this blog post today.
Whilst I am a little frustrated with the things I have read it's my own fault for caring so much. I want to spread positivity, that is what I am about, for the most part I am a super positive person and I do hope that shines through what I do. However, I am also human, I am allowed to feel sad, I'm allowed to take time to recoup and recentre myself and I'm allowed to make my own rules for my own life, creating when I want to and so should you.
I'm letting this blogpost be a reminder to just DO ME! I’m tired of feeling bad for who I am, what I do, and what I have. I’m a positive person and will continue to try and spread that positivity but I am also human and sometimes I have a bad day, I don’t have anything to say and even if I do I just might not want to say it. And that’s fine, just let people be. Let them do what they do. Take it, leave it, unfollow if you want to but just let them cope with this strange old thing the way they need to.
We must stop putting the unnecessary pressure on ourselves) to do more, be more or even worse, do and be less. Whether we're feeling positive or negative our feelings are valid and they shouldn't be defined by our productivity.
We all cope the way we can, it’s all very strange, very new and just a bit odd. We’re all in it together so please, let’s just grin and bear it and remember that if you don’t have anything nice to say, simply don’t say anything at all.
Sending lots of love to you all.