A change of priorities is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.
It’s funny, you reach a certain point in your life or you add something to your world that makes you look at things a whole lot differently.
I’m 25, going on 26 in July, and I know thats not exactly old, and I certainly know that I have SO much more to learn, but I’ve recently had a little bit of a penny drop, light bulb moment that has seen a slight shift in my priorities and the way in which my brain now likes to operate.
At London fashion week (a couple of weeks ago) was where this really came to light.
I spent 4 days in London rushing around town feeling a little out of sorts and not 100% myself.
I was in a vibrant city, submerging myself in my passion at fashion week, a time that I usually adore and look forward to for that dose of inspiration and motivation.
There's nothing more inspiring for me than sitting (or standing) at a catwalk show and watching the latest and upcoming designs from some of my most favourite of designers. I've done the whole going to each and every single show I was invited to, running myself into the ground to ensure that I view as many shows as humanly possible across the week and I've learnt that, that just doesn't work for me.
In recent times, I've streamlined my schedule to ensure that the shows I attend are worth attending both for myself and for you. I want to view collections that truly resonate with me and make sense to my personal style. Shows that I want to shout about and share with you and shows I know that we will all take great inspiration from.
And, similarly to the past few seasons, this time around I did just that. I carefully selected a handful of shows to attend and headed down to London for the weekend.
However, this time was a little different.
This time around I have my own home here in Manchester, I am the proud mamma to two little dachshund’s named Peter and Nancy and this time I headed down to London alone.
Despite how daunting the whole fashion week thang is, I'm often pretty good at attending shows alone. I like my own company for the most part and I know how to pretend I'm confident when walking into a room of people that "know" each other. However, this time I felt vulnerable, I felt lonely and I felt anxious... Like seriously anxious. I found myself panicking before the shows about the prospect of heading in alone, a step in the wrong direction for my confidence, and I pined for home, for George and for my puppies.
There were a few internal "eye rolling" moments throughout the weekend in London that left me thinking, do I really want to be a part of this world in this way? Do I want to do this kind of thing again? Is this really for me?
And whilst, I'm now writing this from the comfort of my own home and my heart is screaming “YES, of course this is for you”, my head isn't so convinced.
My priorities have shifted a little, whilst 5 years ago 20 year old Megan was desperate to head to as many shows as possible and to be invited to all the fashion parties, I’ve learnt that not all of them are quite right for me. I’m not a party girl for one, I’m a bit of a nerd at heart and I just don’t fit in. I don’t have a posse of fashion babes by my side and I no longer want to stand in the middle of a crowded room and have my photograph taken by a stranger. I’ve done it, I’ve had my fun and now I’ve moved on and there’s nothing wrong in saying it.
It’s okay to have a shift in priorities, heck that just means you’re growing up! And whilst you may feel like you’re missing out, It’s okay to get FOMO from time to time, so long as you know that deep down you're exactly where you want to be and for me that is at home in Manchester in my slippers with a cup of tea and my family.
Thats not to say that I’m not eternally grateful for every single opportunity that comes my way, ‘cause of course I am absolutely grateful. And it doesn’t mean that I am never going to attend a fashion event again BUT the point is, is that changes are scary, we feel a shift and we panic.
We think we’re not doing what we’re supposed to be doing, we could be working harder, we should be enjoying everything that comes our way, when sometimes it’s all about the simple things in life.
I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am, but I’m quite happy to pass on some opportunities that don't quite fit as well as others, for a simpler more quiet life, something I feel we’re brainwashed into thinking means we’re not doing well at life. Quiet doesn’t need to mean boring or unfulfilling, it doesn’t show that you’re any less hard working or any less deserving of special opportunities, it just means that things have changed, your list of priorities are different to others and as always, those differences are what makes you beautiful.
I feel that 2018 is the year or learnings for me, and it’s only bloody March! I love simplicity, I love uncomplicated and I love the life I’ve created for myself here in Manchester. In a world full of GO GO GO, FOMO and “I want more”, I’m going to find the perfect balance between fashion and the simple life, just watch this space.