Don't let anyone dull your sparkle - what a beautiful saying!
It's a mantra I've tried to live by for as long as I can remember.
A mantra my mamma has instilled in me from the early years when I was unfortunately bullied at school.
Since then I’ve been an absolute sucker for the line; printing it off and framing it in A3 for my teenage bedroom wall, doodling it whilst on the phone and regularly passing on my mothers pearls of wisdom to friends in tricky situations, it’s a relatively cheesy one but a bloody good one, one that can often be overlooked.
I blame my time at school for the confidence issues I’ve gone through in my short time as an adult (read more about this here and here if you so wish) and whilst it's certainly something I'm working on, sometimes I need to learn to take my mammas advice and remember to never let anyone dull my sparkle... Simple, right!?
Easier said than done. For me anyway.
I'm the kind of person who is easily affected by the moods of others and can quite literally have my sparkle dulled or switched off all together through the often unknowing individual and their mood that day.
And whilst I think it's good to be in tune with the way in which others are feeling, in my eyes being thoughtful and caring are two of the most important traits in a person, it's something that more recently I have noticed more and more about myself and how I let people accidentally change my mood, and quite frankly it's beginning to drive me a little bit potty.
And whilst I currently don’t have the recipe to change the way I am affected by others, I wanted to chat about it, as always, in case you can offer any light on the matter, as we’re all friends here; friends desperately trying to pave our way in life and sometimes, we hit a hump.
I’ve dealt with this hump for as long as I can remember, but it was this morning in fact, where I thought to hell with this hump, I’m just not having this anymore ( I do love a good telling off, even if it is to myself and by myself)
Whilst I whole heartedly believe in this phrase; how can I preach this beautiful mantra when I often go against it? So instead I thought I’d share, and I hope that’s cool with you.
So anyhoo a bit of context to my rather odd mood affector, usually this takes place when I feel a little out of place, a mouse if you will, amongst a pride of lions. I’m not the most self assured person in the world so when I’m amongst a group of outgoing people who I don’t know all too well, I tend to hide in the shadows a little bit. I read into a lot of things and I am sensitive by nature, I’m a Cancerian through and through so I have no doubt in my mind that this has something to do with the way I let my mood be affected by those around me.
However, it also happens quite regularly with the people I love the most.
Their moods through having had a tough day at the office, frustrating emails or simply just not feeling too well, can really dull me down, despite having had a great day myself.
It's a hard one to explain unless you too go through a similar thing but it's something I'm pledging to myself to not let ANYONE do anymore as it doesn’t help those I love when they’re feeling down and it certainly doesn’t help me now does it.
For the most part, I'm a happy and positive person, I like to see the good in things and I want to make sure that everyone around me is happy, including myself. I'm beginning to see that by finding confidence and strength in myself, then perhaps I'll stop worrying too much about the feelings of others and in turn, perhaps my sparkle will cease to darken?
I'm going to make a conscious effort to stand strong when people vent, sulk, moan and take out their bad mood on me. I'm going to not let anyone rain on my parade or try and bring me down into the pits with them. I'm going to sympathise, rationalise and be there for them, but thats where it stops. I think having a good talk to yourself is just the ticket for ensuring that you stay on top, whether it's your partner, siblings, parents, colleagues, or even something you've read on Twitter, I'm thinking deep breaths and a good talking to inside your own head is on the cards to ensure that they don't bring down your mood with theirs.
But it's not just the moods of others, I see it online too.
Girls bringing girls down and essentially dulling other peoples sparkle through that little green eyed monster or simply due to not getting along. The internet has become quite a bitter place recently and I've since shied away and taken a little bit of time away from it as nobody needs to read the venom going around right now. These negative thoughts need to stay as thoughts and don't need to creep out onto Twitter or bitchy forums for the world to see. We as women should be lifting each other up and celebrating our successes together rather than tearing someone down and essentially dulling their sparkle in order to let yours shine a little more. That's not doing yourself, them or anyone else any favours - If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, another stellar piece of advice from Diane Ellaby and mothers around the globe alike.
Whilst “don’t let anyone dull your sparkle” is one of my all time favourite quotes, there are others of that ilk that also ring true for me too. Quotes I feel we all could do with hearing from time to time for that extra sprinkling of sparkle.
First up we have the oh so wise Buddha who said- “The mind is everything. What you think you become”
Something I whole heartedly believe is true, with a lot of time and self love. Positivity breeds positivity for the most part, but when that little bit of negativity comes from somebody else we simply need to breathe it in, and breathe it out. I’m currently a dweller, so I become consumed by someone else’s vibe, something I’m determined to change.
Eleanor Roosevelt also said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” How bloody true is this! I need this now more than ever! We have the power to feel whatever the heck we want to feel, and whilst initially I blame other people for dulling down my sparkle in the first place, I know, deep down that essentially it is down to me to not allow this to happen!
And with that almighty post, I must dash. Having written this down I feel a heck load better, lighter and happier. God I love my blog so much! Sharing is caring and all that malarkey and I really hope even just one of you can resonate with what I’ve shared today and take a little something away to sparkle throughout the day... oh hey I’m a poet!