Here's a post that I've been putting off writing for some time.
Mainly due to the fact that I simply don't know how to write it.
I don't really know what causes my issues with confidence and tbh it makes me feel quite vulnerable to say this out loud.
Some people don't think I should put this part of me out there (hi mum), heck, I, myself am doubting whether I should put this out there.
But a part of me thinks that it could help someone in some way.
I spend my days taking photograph after photograph of myself and my life, putting my best self out there on the internet for all to see, to critique, to admire; but thats just it, it's my best self.
Really, I'm just a very normal twenty-four year old Mancunian girl who's trying to better herself and her family, pave her way in the world and sometimes struggles to stay afloat.
However, my Instagram and my blog portrays a girl who has her shit together (most of the time) a girl who knows what she wants and how to get it, albeit a girl with a dirty sense of humour and a northern accent, but that isn't something a girl can hide all too easily.
However, something I can hide is how I struggle, almost every single day with self confidence.
Confidence and insecurities is something I've battled with for the majority of my life, from the latter years of primary school and throughout high school... Especially at high school.
I felt like I got my shit together and things began to balance out a little once I got to college and university, however since leaving university and tackling the big bad world of adulthood, I feel I've slipped into my old ways and it's something that, quite frankly annoys the living daylights out of me!
Issues with confidence isn't really something you can explain. And it's certainly not something I like having. It's an inner battle, something that others struggle to comprehend and accept. Especially when my job essentially involves being uber confident and putting myself out there to the masses.
In my latest Question & Answer video I touched upon how someone had asked how I manage to put myself out there yet still be self conscious.
I get it, totally, these two things usually don't go hand in hand.
However, fashion is my passion.
It's what I've always loved since I was a little girl playing "fashion designers" with my younger sister, and growing up watching my mum create the most incredible wedding dresses on her little sewing machine in our spare bedroom. It's what I've studied from the age of 11-21 and it's what I've always, always wanted to do. I absorb myself in the world of fashion, with my online presence, attending fashion week and keeping up with the fashion press both online and in print. It's the only thing I am totally confident in! I know my stuff and therefore come across as super confident with it, because I am confident with it and I completely and utterly believe in myself.
My styling too, it's a little out there at times and that is one thing that always makes me feel at my most confident.
When I'm feeling my outfit it shows. Sometimes the louder the outfit the more confident I feel, which I know to some is barmy, but it's just where my strengths lie and I like to work to those strengths.
However, as soon as I'm out of that little bubble of talking and writing about clothes and styling, in real life, well thats where I falter.
Large crowds and the unknown are two things that knock my confidence.
If I walk into a new place that is crowded with people, I turn into a little mouse version of myself. I wish I could walk in with my head held high and like I own the place (words my momma has always instilled in me) but it's just not me. I'm a person with a very positive outlook on life for the most part, however if theres a crowd of people and they just so happen to be looking at me, I'll instantly think the worst, translating their looks as cruelty or judgement and I truly, truly wish I didn't.
Chances are they're looking at my shoes or discussing how they like my hair, but it's the 14 year old Megan who was bullied throughout high school that speaks to me and interprets their stares as nastiness.
It's easy to say, "Let Them Stare" which is my mantra when it comes to styling, however in a crowded room with individual groups of guys and gals each looking at me, it's a struggle for me to take my own advice; it's hard for me to believe that they are simply looking and admiring today's colourful get-up, instead I truly believe they're picking me apart, retracting me back into my shell and usually ends with me hiding behind George.
It's something I'm forever working on and forever striving to overcome, but honestly I'm not too sure that it will ever truly disappear, but hey I'll keep on doing me, absorbing up everything fashion has to offer and wearing the most bold and colourful get-ups in the meantime as that's one vice that never fails to help me out.
The reason I wanted to share this with you was partly for myself, in the hope that it may be rather therapeutic to write and give me a kick up the bum to overcome this issue, but mainly for those of you out there who may be going through the same thing. I'd love to chat with you and perhaps we can come up with some ways to kick self doubt and insecurities to the curb!?
I'd really love to document my little journey to self confidence on the blog and would love your help with any tips and tricks you've picked up along the way? 'Cause surely I'm not the only one who goes through this kind of thing right?
I have my own little coping mechanisms too, a few things that help me out and I'd love to share them with you, but until then let's swap idea's, tips and tricks and of course, as always lots of love to dismiss these insecurities once and for all!
I want you all to know that despite seeming confident online, thats my forte, fashion is my passion, it's what I have a degree in and studied for the majority of my life, so of course I'm confident when talking about it. I want you to know that I'm totally human, I'm just me, a normal girl with insecurities just like you. What you often see on the outside isn't always reflected on the inside.
Let's chat!
x M
I need to put a looong comment here later gurl. Xxx
Thank you for sharing. I used to think I was confident, but I’m realizing it was because I only surrounded myself with kind people that I can trust. Outside of that, I’m a mess. I don’t like people staring either, and I was a model for part of my life which involved a lot of looks. But.. same as you.. I did it for the creative outlet and not so much to be hot. 3 years out of college and I’m struggling to find confidence. My friends left back to their hometowns and I stuck it out here in the college town, well 2 miles away and never really got that break I thought I would get here. But there’s still hope. Thank you for sharing your story.
I have the exact same issue! I’ve always been shy since I was little and even my friends would describe me as “the shy one” when we are in a group as I just seem to lose all confidence.
I am fine meeting people one on one and feel I can be myself without any judgement, but as soon as there’s a group of people, especially who I don’t know I become so quiet and like a little mouse because I’m scared people are judging me in the worst way.
After university when I first graduated I felt a lot more confident (probably due to feeling so excited about having finally finished uni and excited about the future). However recently I have also reverted back to feeling very self conscious and that I’m not myself anymore.
One of the ways I have been trying to tackle my insecurities is to force myself to attend situations where I know I am going to feel uncomfortable and to remind myself I shouldn’t care what others think, but it’s a lot easier said then done.
Thank you for writing this article as it’s nice to see others feel the same and that I’m not alone. It’s nice to see that someone who seems so confident as yourself and who I admire (both for your fashion sense and attitude towards life) also feels the same.
Looking forward to reading about how you tackle your insecurities and feelings and hopefully picking up some tips!
Katie
Ah thank you for this Megan!! <3 I think the key to being confident and letting go of insecurities starts with being comfortable and happy with yourself! It really doesn't happen overnight and we're all gonna be insecure about some things in life but as long as we accept who we are and accept those around us for who there are life will be a lot more enjoyable and positive :)) Also some tips that I have for staying confident is having a badass playlist ahahah it puts you in the right mood and the people around you will fade away!! 🙂
Loved this, Megan! Self confidence is something I really struggle with, work-wise as I’m in my third year of uni but also in terms of appearance. It’s really good to hear people speak up about not feeling too great sometimes as it’s always a more widespread issue than you think. For me, a pamper night always helps, something about whacking a face mask on and reading a good ol’ book makes me feel so relaxed and silences a lot of the anxieties that are rushing around in my head! Would love to hear some of your tips & tricks X
http://www.whatlibbysays.co.uk
I think every single person has very similar issues and especially when I was younger I was very bad at this. However, I am now 26 and I am just too tired to think what others will talk about what I am wearing or so. I just don’t care I want to live for myself and not for pleasing others even though sometimes it is insanely hard! Keep smiling ,keep wearing jazzy pants crazy shoes messy hair, you are Megan and there is only one you and we all love you for that! xx
http://www.hairwonderfulday.com
Hi Megan, Totally know how you feel although my problem is almost the opposite. In social groups I am confident and happy chatting to pretty much anyone, happy to approach people for a chat etc. If people stare at me, or I notice people looking at me as I walk by it doesn’t really bother me I just assume I have pen on my face or something.
However what is most frustrating is my confidence in my work. I am a photographer and I love it. Photography is my passion, its all I ever do. Click Click Click. I have been taking photos since i can remember and studied it through school, college and uni…. However talking to people about it makes me actually curl up in to a ball inside. I stumble my words, I feel in adequate, I forget what camera I have when people ask me, ha it is just insane! I have to dare my self to do photoshoots and but when I’m doing it I thrive on it and just love it so much, but it is the self doubt before I have even picked up my camera which annoys me about myself.
I am good I know I am, and I know what I’m doing but there is a voice inside me which is like.. “No don’t do it, they wont like the photos, you wont be good enough!”
If you have any tips on how to shut this person up then please share! haha.
Thank you so much for writing this; it’s amazing how much I relate to this. I grew up in a small town where fashion was the last thing on peoples’ minds. Although I always loved what I was wearing, I always felt like people were staring and judging. But what always made me the most anxious was (and still is) taking blog photos in public. As soon as the camera goes up, it’s like I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. I just need to keep reminding myself that I’ll never see these people again. Thanks again for this. I absolutely love your blog and Instagram. 🙂
Elizabeth xx
http://www.wearshesgone.com
I love this post and I love, and appreciate your honesty.
I’ve suffered with lack of confidence since secondary school too and missed out on so many opportunities by running away with fear. The only insight I can give you is that with age comes a sort of maturity/ confidence hybrid and as you live and learn you seem to care much less about what people thing, developing a ‘fuck it’ outlook. I just hit my thirties (old gramma over here) and have never felt more myself. I’m starting to shake off those insecurities that came from worrying about what people thought of me and these days take it all with a pinch of salt.
Perhaps by voicing your thoughts you might find relief and build up some of that trusty confidence sooner, either way keep on doing what you do : )
Gemma
http://www.fadedwindmills.com
For the past several months Ive been in a country and a job that Ive never felt comfortable in. Its pretty restrictive and for a while I was loosing my confidence to the point that I was loosing myself. I love clothes too and they always make me feel better and so I finally started to dress more daringly and it made me feel like I was reclaiming myself. Finding your blog was actually a HUGE part of this transformation because I feel like you dress for the joy that it brings you and nothing else. Thats how i dress myself now too and it makes everything so much better (metallic shoes make everything better!!) So, I guess keep doing what you’re doing because its working! Thanks 🙂
HI Megan, I feel the same a lot of the time! I’m really confident in areas I know a lot about, but I won’t even walk into a coffee shop on my own. It drives my boyfriend mad because he has to meet me outside whenever we go out to a bar, for example. Unfortunately, bullying really knocks your confidence and has lasting effects even years later. 🙁
I always feel like people are judging me or thinking the worst.
Something that has helped me is forcing myself to do things that I’m uncomfortable with or scared of, and although it sounds unhelpful, thinking of the worst thing that could happen (as the worst thing is usually not actually that bad)!
I hope you gain the confidence you deserve, when it comes to fear of what other people think remember that those matter don’t mind and that those who mind don’t matter. 🙂
On a slightly more shallow note, I love the navy and yellow in your outfit, it’s one of my fave colour combos.
Julia x
http://www.juliarachelday.co.uk
Amazing look 🙂 I love your sweater and bag 🙂 And yellow colour looks great on you 🙂
http://www.ivanasworld.com
Hi Megan,
I can totally understand what you are going through, I’ve had some similiar experiences too. But to be honest you are too perfect to be thinking about this, you are seriously gorgeous, your style is fab and as far as I’ve seen on insta you have a beautiful personality too. Thanks for sharing your feelings in this post, its nice to know the real Megan and know that there are people just like us all around.
Melis
Xx
Thank you Megan so much for posting about this! I too was bullied throughout school (mainly by boys!) and it has totally had a huge impact with me in my adult life… it’s affected my relationships with friends, boyfriends and even cost me a job! My confidence is something that I have to work on every single day and I’ve just started a new blog to help me with that. To know I’m not alone is quite comforting. You are stunning Megan and I really enjoy following you on Instagram and reading your blog posts! Keep it up girl! You got this 🙂 xxx
It’s great to see such an honest blogpost like this! You are honestly GORGEOUS and sooo very stylish, you are definitely someone I look up to and I really hope this issue gets better! Thank you very much for sharing with us! xx
the colour of this yellow is superb
http://7-sevendays.blogspot.it/
I suffer from anxiety/ shyness and lack of self confidence- I’ve always been shy and when I was younger I refused to talk to strangers, and used to avoid any situation that I’d not experienced before (fear of the unknown= Maximum anxiety) but then life kind of pushes you to make those steps, throughout school and work I’ve had to talk to strangers- the nice and the nasty- and I know work in sales so that’s basically my job! I pushed myself and although a lot of things/ people scare me I know in myself that I can handle it! There’s definitely a difference in being self confident and believing in yourself but it all starts with the belief that you are the best version of yourself. 🙂 I still have bad days that I want to just stay in my comfort zone but I remind myself I wouldn’t be where I am and know the people I know of I hadn’t step out of my comfort zone at least a few times!
Not sure if this is helpful I think I’m rambling haha
You’re definitely not alone!
I was bullied all through my schooling to the point where I actually turned down university because I couldn’t handle the thought of any more abuse. As a result I hate large groups of people because I always think that I’m being a nuisance and that no one really wants to talk to me, or even worse make fun of me.
However my job involves me having to make conversation out of thin air with total strangers all day – which I find fine because it’s my job and I know what I’m talking about! Just in my personal life I really struggle. I have also really struggled to make friends as an adult (which makes me sound like such a sad person).
I know it’s really hard but I have just forced myself to do things, go to places to try and speak to new people to try to get over my fear. If you’re really not feeling it – input on a great playlist, put on my fiercest outfit and remind myself that it doesn’t really matter what these people think. You have people in your life that love you for who you are – just carry on being your wonderful self!
This is so good to hear. ?. And hopefully as therapeutic for you as you where hoping!
Been following your blog for a while and I loooove watching your videos, you always seem so ‘bloody’ confident…. So it’s nice to sort of see a behind the curtain kind of post! I actually watched your video on your Q&A and how you and George got together…. I was thinking about my own relationship, my boyfriend is in a band too so he’s often in the spotlight. Wondered if that aspect of your relationship made you feel self conscious? Or if you simply don’t bat an eyelid at it. I know Emma Watson is just any other girl at the end of the day, but i know id think…. Did she have a nicer butt than me?! Is she a better feminist?! Ha! (Wincing as i type that)
Peace and loooooove.
Annie x
annieroseeeee on Instagram!
Your article is so good and I really see myself in it in many ways. For instance when you talk about being in a group I had the exact same issues I thought people were judging my style and my looks even my manners and lots of stuff. I talked about it with my mum (also invested in fashion just like yours ) and she just told me “People only look at something or someone when they are beautiful” .The image that you give us on social media (even if it is only your best) is what you are when you walk into a group of people. what I’m saying here is that your best self is still yourself and it is what people see (I don’t think they make a difference) my point is that you have a captivating image and if people stare… well you are catching their attention and you are captivating enough to keep them looking. At least that what I tell myself every time and it helps a lot believe me.
Anyways love your style, love your face, love your article, love your blog God bless!
LOVE this post. I totally get you. I have always struggled with my confidence. I wrote s post a few weeks back about how I managed to crack becoming more confident – essentially my dads advice of faking it! It’s worked for me over the years and I’m a far more confident person now. But I totally still have work to do!
Also, this bag and boot combo is just INCREDIBLE ??
x
Thank you for writing this post! I suffer from the exact same issues and only today did I have a minor panic attack after noticing lots of people ‘staring at me’. Its comforting knowing I’m not alone. I would love a post or video on ways you are dealing with this.
This post is so inspiring, I follow your Instagram and love your style and wish I was that fashionable! If you are always so trendy that is why people will stare it’s because they are in awe of your style!! My confidence suffers in work when I realise I don’t have 100% support from senior managers and feel undervalued.
But I know that this feeling won’t last and I know I am good at what I do and I just have to find a way to show everyone my worth. If I am out with friends I’m confident but I struggle with dating! Modern ways of trying to meet someone are all about judging a book by its cover and it’s not very beneficial to growing self confidence!
There will be light at the end of the tunnel I hope!!
This was a really interesting post to read and I can relate to it so much! I’ve always lacked confidence since I was younger and, even though I come across as confident on my blog, I’m still trying to work on being more confident in real life! x
http://emmaboughtwhat.blogspot.co.uk
There are many lovely comments already here but here are my own two cents:
I’m (only) 24, but I don’t think I will ever stop worrying/caring about what people think of me. I think there will also be some level of self-consciousness depending on the situation and who I am with, whether it be strangers or people I see every day. Sometimes I’m wearing the best outfit and my skin is clear – I feel great and honestly don’t give a second thought to what anyone thinks! Other days, when I’m wearing a “meh” outfit and my face is full of spots – I feel extremely self-conscious and hate doing anything. On these less-fun days, I try to reassure myself on a few points when I’m out & about:
1) People who are judging me superficially aren’t worth my time.
2) People I care about most (family, friends) don’t give a crap how I look.
3) Living as your true self and being happy *really* annoys whatever haters are out there.
But truthfully, Megan – I think people might be glancing and starting at you out of jealousy! I honestly would! We’re a little bored of the minimalist monochrome trend currently popular with fashion bloggers.
This was a great post Megan. I used to feel the same way, sometimes I still can. I worked on pushing past my comfort zone and the nice thing is as you near 30 it actually becomes easier. You just care less about what people think.
It hasn’t made me 100% less shy or socially anxious but it’s not that same small feeling. You might still feel shy but you don’t beat yourself up because you’re cool with yourself, and your family, and the life you’re building for yourself. One way I worked on this when I was feeling badly in my mid-20s was, every night, making myself list 1 thing I was proud of accomplishing that day, 1 thing I liked about myself in general, 1 think I was liked about myself that day- from my hair to being nice to someone, to hitting a deadline, it all counted.
Then when you start to feel badly tell those insecure feelings if anyone has a problem with you they can f*cking deal with it themselves, and carry on. I promise it gets easier with a little work, it’s kinda like magic or a switch flipping 😉
Hi Megan,
Thank you for writing this!
I am also a 24 year old, Manc and have struggled with self-confidence for a long time. I am like you and find it easy to talk about my passions and things I am good at, but shy away, get too nervous or worry and fret over simple things I have said to people.
I also hate walking into anywhere crowded, and constantly feel like everyone is looking at me even if they aren’t. I have put off going to writing classes in Manc for months now just out of fear. So it’s reassuring to know others feel the same, and would love to hear some tips on how to help this.
Would love to hear from you!
Xxx
Aw! I think these things just make you more human – if you had supreme self confidence (which I agree, would feel great!) you might lose some of your other great qualities – empathy, self awareness, thoughtfulness, the ability to reflect on behaviour that has previously upset others and then change it to be kinder going forward etc. I second what all the other “elderly ladies” (I’m 34) say – confidence gets better with age simply because you just start caring less what others think of you. It doesn’t go away though. I’m a university lecturer and sometimes when I step out in front of a lecture hall of 270 students (some of whom are sleeping/on their phones/openly sneering/laughing and whispering while looking at me) I still want to run out screaming (especially bad because I know some of them ARE saying mean things, because we’ve all said mean things about teachers). I kind of see it as acting. So I just act the part of ‘Super Confident Lecturer Lady’ and it’s all good. The thing is, if I *genuinely* didn’t care whether my students liked me or not, or what they thought about me, I wouldn’t be as good a teacher. I wouldn’t make the time to sit with them in my office when they’re crying over issues in their personal life and how it’s hurting their work, I wouldn’t agonise over how to give negative feedback in a way that won’t make them give up or stop trying, I wouldn’t endlessly revise lectures to fix bits that ‘didn’t work’. So this is what I mean about confidence (or the lack thereof) sometimes helping us be ‘good at being ourselves’ in other ways.
Love your blog and your general outlook – you’re amazing!
This post is so touching Megan. I know what it feels like to struggle with self confidence and it really can be such a hard thing to overcome. I mean this when I say it though, you are one of my favourite bloggers, I think you are gorgeous inside and out and I always love keeping up with all your content. Keep doing what you’re doing gal and hopefully in time you’ll see how bloody amazing you are. Lots of love xx
http://whatsinherwardrobe.co.uk/
You are amazing, and I have so much respect for this post as it will help so many other people realise that we are all human and all have our issues. xxxx
Heyyyy Megan, so all the things you mention make me die inside too. I started a little note in my phone (aren’t we all guilty of reaching for our phones as soon as we need to look busy?!) I noted down each time something small but unexpectedly positive happened – I started as small al “went up to the bar on my own” or “asked where the toilets were” or someone complimented me, offered me a seat or I got through the night without hiding in the loos, etc etc, and now when I have that ??? feeling, I still reach for my phone, but I read the note and eventually those small things started to become normal things because I was constantly reminding myself how it didn’t go wrong last time, so just do it again! and before too long a lot of the stuff became second nature!
Thank you for writing this! (Here comes by bad english and a long comment, so bare with me…)
I have always struggled with confidence all my life. When I was younger, I was not like all the other kids(what a cliche thing to say, I know). I was the youngest in my family, unlike all my other friends that were the oldest of there siblings and everything. I had gotten so much influence in what I had on me, what type of music I listen to, my humor and my hobbys. I was just, different.
I often sat alone and just listened to my MP3 with The Killers, Muse and everything else on my ears. Different from all the kids listening to Sean Kingston and Akon. I laughed at other things than all the other kids. I grew up with The Muppets, Monty Python and a lot of british humor (my mum is Northern-Irish) while all the other kids was used to scandinavian tv-shows and that kind of entertainment. I guess you get the drill.
People have always torn me down for not knowing the “norms” here and for not liking the same things as everyone else. After a while I got scared of not finding friend, and I lived by the “fake it, until you make it”-rule. And I still kind of do to this day. I want to stop that, I want to find people I truly can be my self with. But it is kind of hard when you live in Norway and have quite old parents who have shown you amazing tings that are not much appreciated by other people your age here. I find it hard to fit in with the people around me, I feel like I kind of have an older soul. And it just feels weird and it has always made me feel out of place in some way, and that has ruined my confidence in so many ways. I have not dared to show my true self to the extent i want to.
I try to say “fuck it”, and try not to care what people think. But then the problem with loneliness comes in the picture. It’s just hard in some ways.
Sorry for my rant, and it probably does’nt make sense at all, but it’s nice to get things of my chest while we’re at it!
Love your YouTube channel, your blog and everything! You are a beautiful person who I truly look up to in every way.
xx
Thanks so much for posting this! I have the same issues and I, too, was bullied in high school, and even though my lack of confidence doesn’t usually stop me from doing what I want to do, it makes everything a hundred times harder and I just wish I could get rid of it and think that people might look at me because they like my hair, or my outfit, and not because they’re laughing at how ugly I am. There’s one thing that my boyfriend told me recently and that has helped me to keep away the negative thoughts: how often do YOU look at someone and think they’re ugly, or weird, or dull? Chances are, hardly ever. So why would anyone else do it to you?
Hope this can help someone who’s struggling with lack of confidence!
Oh Megan, thank you thank you thank you for writing this and sharing it so publicly. Whilst I hate knowing that you feel this way, it’s still oddly comforting knowing that a popular lady like yourself knows exactly how I feel.
I naively believed that moving from the north west down to Cardiff would be the making of me, I’d be more confident, make a tonne of friends, and leave my old self behind. That didn’t exactly happen, however my university course has started to build my confidence, I feel like I’m a little better now than I always believed I was and that’s such a thrilling feeling.
I feel the most confident when I’m wearing something cute/funky/wild, something that I know I look good in. That’s the power of fashion, and it’s great that it has that impact on you too. I’ve just started learning about Fashion Psychology and this suddenly makes sense.
Who knows if we’ll ever feel confident enough to not want to hide behind others, but fingers crossed our confidence will build as more positive things happen to us and our life experiences grow.
We’re all badasses and let’s hope we all get to see that in ourselves.
Stay amazing Megan, you know you inspire me and we all think you’re the biggest babe out there.
Sam xo
Alright Sunshine | Fashion Lifestyle Travel
I ummed and ahhed over writing a comment (I never have before and I’m not sure I ever will again) but I just had to thank you so much for writing this, it’s so refreshing to hear that someone as seemingly confident as you also struggles with believing in yourself. Also thank you for making me less afraid to dress for me, I always have but went through a rough patch mid-way through last year – cue me discovering your blog (along with shotfromthestreet) and being completely revitalised style-wise. And a final thank you for giving me the confidence to believe that fashion/style is a warranted interest, hobby and career rather than vapid self-indulgence (as I have had it described to me before). You’re truly a wonderful person, much love xx
I really love this blog post Megan. I am very similar. I’ve always had issues with confidence and despite how I might portray myself online or the way people might perceive me, I am still very very insecure. I think it’s good to let things out and discuss them, especially on a blog, because it always surprises me just how many people can relate! It always makes me feel less alone.
I always look to you for inspiration because you are just total goals haha, but it’s nice to hear that even a lady as fabulous as you feels similarly to me!
I hope this year brings you lots more confidence in yourself, because you are lovely and fabulous! You keep doing YOU! xxx
a much needed post! It’s always reassuring to know that even the most babe-ing girls like you sometimes lack in confidence and knowing that everyone goes through the same shit no matter what we see on instagram or anywhere on the internet! Fashion is my thing too, but as soon as someone starts questioning me on in a go completely shy and unsure of myself too!
BTW YELLOW IS TOTALLY YOUR COLOUR!
Laura | roseandweston.blogspot.co.uk
I didn’t know if I should comment or not, because even if you put it out there on your blog, it still remains a personal post and who am I to say this or that on this topic.
For start, I didn’t know you felt that way, sure, everyone has struggles, complexes, lack of confidence but to me, you smelled “I’m confident”.
This is something I’ve experienced my whole life and I know it won’t go away, like this thing has become a part of me, a way to define me, the “girl who has no trust in herself”, it’s making me feel vulnerable to talk about it so I try to fake it but people are not stupid, they can see it.
I dream of having confidence, but in this, I will compare myself to some girls “Oh, how I would loooove to be that way, to feel that way, be confident, be happy with myself and not giving a shit”.
The question I often get is “Why ?” like I can explain, even when some things seem to get right with time, this little shadow that is lack of confidence is still behind my shoulder, whispering “Hum, no, you’re not enough”.
Sure, with my bad blog, it didn’t help to have to be in the pictures, posing and that’s what holding me back for putting more effort into it, fashion always has been my passion too. Clothes, colours, shapes, since the youngest age, watching my mom getting ready and thinking life will be awesome when I’ll be big enough to wear anything. Wearing nice, bold, original clothes makes me feel better too, it surely helps but it can’t be enough.
“Large crowds and the unknown are two things that knock my confidence” could come right from my mouth. I feel the same and tend to think I’m the only odd one who do, but I guess I was wrong.
I can relate so much to what you wrote. I think it’s brave to share this on your blog and is definitely helpful for those, like me, who feel the same way.
I’m waiting for your next posts on this topic and hope it will get better for you, you seem to be a really kind gal. xxxx
Adeline.
http://i-think-its-today.blogspot.com
I think as women it’s especially hard for us to feel confident and appreciative of ourselves. We all know why so I won’t get into it. Some of us are just better at hiding it – I’m living by the “fake it till you make it” motto. I’m struggling with self-confidence every day too and I started looking at it logically – what are the things I don’t feel good about and which of those things can I change for the better? If I can pick myself apart, I can put myself back together and be stronger for it, right? So I’m doing those steps to better myself and sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed, but at the end of the day I can say to myself: I did my best. Cause that’s what it’s all about, no? Doing your best? (I think there’s a top with this slogan on that I really need to get 🙂 )
xo Kat
Hi Megan,
I totally feel the same way and i’m actually doing a post on my blog soon about the same thing (maybe you will find some tips on there who knows?). I am constantly looking for ways to make myself feel better and to boost my confidence, but I always end up at square one again. Thanks for being honest and for encouraging people to talk about this! I really think it’s so healthy to say it out loud and people should not be embarrased about this topic.
Love your blog
becks x (real-metanoia.com)
First up. Thank you so much for sharing this. It would be easy to maintain the “cool, confident blogger” vibe as we all see you. But it’s obviously taken guts to share such a personal story and I have so much respect for that. I can totally relate to a crippling feeling of a lack of self confidence, and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that in your life.
There are so many touching and inspiring posts here already that I’m not sure I have a lot to add, but I’ll give it a go anyway.
I’m afraid I’m not one of those for whom age has “cured” my insecurities. That being said, I’m only 32, so there’s still time yet! The one tip I have, if it is even that, is to force myself to focus on something else when i can feel the panic setting in. In a crowded place, ill tell myself to spot 3 red things, or to find a pattern I like. Something silly that makes me think and takes my mind off the voices in my head. It doesn’t always work, but it certainly helps! As for having self belief, I’m clueless I’m afraid. Hopefully one day it will all click into place!
Ellie
http://www.shoestringthreads.com
I’ve got a thing where I use fashion and style to speak for me when I think I can’t – like you I get so overwhlemed emotionally talking to others I let my clothes express where I can’t. Loved this post Meg, very honest and open of you.
Lauren x
Britton Loves | Lifestyle Beauty Wellbeing
You are absolutely not alone in feeling this. I’ve always been shy, even to the point where whilst I was at university I developed such bad social anxiety that I couldn’t go outside – I wouldn’t go out with friends, food shopping, anything. Surprisingly I found really small stuff helped: dancing around to music I loved before going out, watching and reading about kickass women before going out with friends or on dates (a process that includes scrolling through your Insta for some style inspo!). Also, as cheesy as it sounds, realising that all that worrying was just exhausting. Sometimes I stumble and fall back slightly, but am slowly developing an ‘I don’t care what you think’ attitude….I would love to be more experimental with fashion and style – that’s the next goal!
But thank you for sharing this! It’s pretty damn brave of you – your ability to put your fun and bold personality fully into your style is pretty amazing and absolute goals.
Keep doing you and loving it xx
Hi Megan,
Thank you so much for this post – you can be sure that it’s helped someone because it’s certainly helped me. I have a similar issue as I was the shyest child you could possibly imagine in school, riddled with insecurities, which caused me to be bullied. It was a vicious cycle to say the least. I have unfortunately brought my insecurities with me into adult life which I know is quite a common thing for people to do. At the age of 26 I have, thankfully, managed to overcome a lot of my insecurities. I’m sure of who I am and I’ve come to realise that worrying what people think of me is a total waste of energy. However, I still haven’t managed to kick my severe fear of public speaking; it leaves me a blubbering, trembling, sweating ball of mess which is really not ideal considering it’s a large part of my job! It’s the fact that the attention is so intensly on me for a prolonged period of time that scares the living daylights out of me and makes me question my abilities and knowledge about the presentation content that I dedicated so many hours working on. To say it’s annoying is an understatement. So I completely relate to you when you say you are completely confident in some parts of your life and then still really struggling with insecurities in other parts of your life. My way of dealing with my severe phobia of public speaking is to do it as much as possible. I always take opportunities to give a presentation. Which means I curse myself when the time comes around and I spend the days before being completely worried about it. But I find that every time I do it, I am ever so slightly better than the last time. I still have a very long way to go but I’m getting there. As we all will 🙂
Hi Megan!
Fellow Mancunian here! (Sometimes I see you in town and I’m always like; “Imma go say “Hi” now and tell this girl how much I love her posts!” Only to get cock-blocked by something or other every time :’) One day girl!
I really needed to read this post today – At the moment, I can’t help but feeling like I’m failing at social events or networking opportunities; all because I clam up mid-conversation feeling like I have nothing interesting to say or because I’m scared the people around me are already thinking; “What an oddball”, or worse! I’m really trying to overcome this angst I feel, but you just can’t help but feel judged at every moment in situations where you’re surrounded by new people or people you’re trying to make a good impression on. But I suppose practice makes perfect! I’ll continue to try and just hope that these niggles in my brain start to wither away, here’s hoping anyway!
I hope you’re having a fab week!
Frankie x
Next time babe please please please say hi, I’d love that!
And you’ve got this girl, we’ve got this!
We’ll definitely get there with practice for sure!
Loadsa love x
You remind me of me when I was in high school. When I met people on the streets I thought they were jugding my looks. Then I stopped doing that. When I meet people on the streets the first thought that comes to mind is”oh i don’t know her”. I notice their age. I refrain from thinking a person is not attractive.I notice a persons outfit and think it looks casual or formal.I don’t normally judge peoples outfits as ugly.
If you judge people’s looks you will believe they are doing the same to you. This also applies to crowds.
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